Patience can be described as tolerance of frustration.
It is extremely important for children to develop patience at an early age.
This means dealing with frustration from an early age.
If we don’t know how to suffer, it’s not good for us.
What we suffer from is frustration, and frustration is an unmet need.
How can we develop frustration tolerance, or how can we “vaccinate” against frustration?
How can we be satisfied even if all our needs aren’t met?
A child needs to be pampered while still small.
As he grows, you start to frustrate him a little…
For example, you don’t hand him his favorite toy as soon as he asks for it.
Or you tell him he can’t have an ice cream today, but he’ll get one tomorrow.
At first, your child protests, then he finds something to occupy himself with to calm his frustration.
Let’s say your child asks to play cards with you, but you tell him he has to pick up his toys first.
The house is a mess and this creates anxiety in you.
So the problem is divided into two phases: your child wants to play cards NOW, but you’re too stressed about the toys lying around.
It’s not the child’s need to pick up toys.
His need is to scatter toys and your need is to pick them up.
He gets a little frustrated and rebels, but learns to tolerate it well.
This is what we call the vaccine!
It’s the same as the disease, only diluted, so it irritates the child’s immune system a little.
But if the disease were to be released at full intensity, we’d catch the disease, not the vaccine.
The same is true of our psychic life!
Some parents frustrate children too much, traumatize them, fail to meet their basic needs, and some frustrate too little, so we have spoiled, overprotected children.
Either we have people traumatized by frustrations who then flee all situations that might frustrate them.
Or we have spoiled people who rage at any situation that frustrates them.
You know what it’s like to send a spoiled child to school.
Immunizing your child against frustration has several advantages
As you can see, frustration plays an important role in a child’s development and learning process.
Although frustration may seem negative at first, it is in fact a valuable and important experience for several reasons:
1. Your child develops the necessary resilience and problem-solving skills.
The day you become an adult, you don’t magically learn to overcome difficulties.
It’s a quality you need to develop as a child, thanks to your parents.
When children are confronted with frustration, they are encouraged to persist, adapt and find other solutions to problems.
This process develops problem-solving skills and a sense of determination.
2. Frustration enables emotional regulation
By experiencing frustration, children learn to manage and regulate their emotions.
It helps them understand that it’s normal to feel frustrated, and that they can deal with these feelings in a healthy way.
Through frustration, children develop emotional resilience and learn strategies such as deep breathing, pausing or seeking support.
All essential for survival in the adult world!
3. Autonomous learning is stimulated by frustration
Frustration reinforces a child’s motivation to learn and achieve his or her goals.
When a child is faced with difficulties, he or she may be more motivated to work harder, persevere and master the task.
Overcoming frustration gives the child a sense of accomplishment and self-confidence, which contributes to intrinsic motivation.
So, if you think frustration is bad for your child’s mental health, think again!
4. Small, frustrated children aren’t afraid of failure
Frustration is an opportunity for children to develop a growth mindset.
Instead of seeing their difficulties as a sign of failure or lack of ability, they can learn to see them as opportunities for growth and improvement.
Frustration encourages children to embrace challenges and believe in their potential to learn and develop new skills.
5. Frustrated children become adults who appreciate success
Frustration helps children better appreciate success and achievement.
When he encounters failure and experiences frustration, finding a solution or achieving a goal becomes even more meaningful and rewarding.
This leads to a better understanding of the value of hard work, perseverance and the satisfaction of overcoming obstacles.
What happens when your child is not immune to frustration?
When children have difficulty dealing with frustration or are not immune to it, it seriously complicates their lives.
For example, they develop a tendency to avoid difficult tasks or give up easily.
In fact, they lack the resilience and perseverance to overcome obstacles, and are more inclined to give up prematurely on difficult tasks.
What’s more, constantly experiencing frustration without developing effective coping strategies has a negative impact on a child’s self-esteem.
They begin to doubt their abilities and feel inadequate or incompetent.
As a result, the child’s self-esteem plummets!
As a result, the child is not motivated to learn!
Fear of failure or the anticipation of frustration can dissuade him from taking on new challenges or exploring unfamiliar fields.
This is clearly detrimental to curiosity, exploration and overall academic and personal development.
The inability to cope with frustration can be said to lead to emotional difficulties.
These include anxiety, anger or even emotional outbursts.
Children have difficulty regulating their emotions, and express their frustration in tantrums, aggression or withdrawal.
As a result, children may adopt a fixed mindset, believing that their abilities are innate and cannot be improved.
They perceive failure as a reflection of their intelligence or skills.
This leads them to fear making mistakes and avoid challenges that could lead to frustration.
Finally, children who are not immune to frustration become overly dependent on external validation.
They seek constant reassurance and support from others.
On the other hand, they lack confidence in their own abilities and judgment.