Parents have great responsibilities and face many challenges as they strive to raise their children.
After all, there is no instruction manual for perfect parenting.
Parents are only human and can make many mistakes along the way that affect their children.
However, parenthood is something you can choose, not something that falls into your lap.
This doesn’t mean that the approach of blaming parents for everything that goes wrong in your life is good or productive for your personal development.
However, we shouldn’t close our eyes to the fact that some parents are completely toxic.
Childhood experiences have a far greater impact on our adult selves than we realize.
If you’re one of those people who really struggles with self-confidence and self-love, it could also be due to your childhood.
In fact, it’s possible that your parents were overly critical and harsh with you.
1. You’re not your priority
You live a life where the most important thing for you is to make other people happy.
This can be stressful because you prioritize the needs of your loved ones, regardless of what you want.
Clearly, you do this even at the expense of your own desires and happiness.
As a result, a lot of anger can build up inside you.
You’re too busy giving others too much of your time and energy, so you never give yourself what you need.
2. You apologize too often
You say ‘sorry’ so often these days that it could be your middle name.
Apologizing even when you’ve done nothing wrong is the result of too much criticism in childhood.
It’s polite to ask forgiveness when you’ve made a mistake, but you shouldn’t go too far.
Self-respect is always important, as is recognizing that everyone makes mistakes.
But that doesn’t mean you have to be hard and unforgiving on yourself.
3. You’re a perfectionist
You leave no room for error, because everything has to be perfect!
The need to be perfect and make everything in your life turn out a certain way is something you’ve carried with you since childhood.
However, as no one is perfect, there’s no way to live a life without mistakes.
You may consider your perfectionism a virtue, but it does more harm than you think.
That’s because it doesn’t motivate you; on the contrary, it holds you back.
As soon as something doesn’t go as you’d imagined, you lose concentration and motivation.
Perhaps you’re also stressed in your personal relationships because you have unrealistic expectations of others.
Ironic as it may seem, when you’re a perfectionist, you tend to be overly critical of yourself.
4. You don’t know how to accept compliments
It’s sad when you really do something amazing, but you can’t see it.
Having been criticized too much throughout your childhood, you don’t know how to handle compliments.
You’re very skeptical when someone says something complimentary about your achievements, personality or appearance.
The first thing that comes to mind is that what you’re hearing is probably a lie.
You assume that the person complimenting you has an ulterior motive or is exaggerating because they feel sorry for you.
This mindset harms not only your self-esteem, but also potential new relationships in your life.
Real, genuine compliments can lose their effectiveness if you doubt them too much or don’t respond appropriately.
5. You avoid big risks
You live in a comfortable, risk-free world and the idea of leaving your comfort zone is very stressful for you.
Because you were criticized too much as a child, your self-esteem is low and you’re afraid to try new things.
You don’t want to fail, and the fear of not achieving what you want pushes you to stay where you are.
There’s a voice in your head that has a lot of power over what you want.
Yet you may fail many times before you get what you want, but you’re not alone.
Just remember that most people never talk about their failures.
If you want to achieve a lot in your life, you need to take calculated risks and step out of your comfort zone from time to time.
6. You want to please everyone
The need to please everyone is one of the main signs that you were criticized too much as a child.
Now you’re an adult who’s afraid of disappointing others!
You don’t want anyone to think badly of you, and you devote all your energy to making others happy.
You sacrifice time and again to make yourself look good to others.
In fact, you’re often afraid to say what you really think or feel because you don’t want to upset anyone.
7. One mistake stops you
As a risk-averse perfectionist, you hate it when mistakes happen in your plan.
When an unexpected turn of events occurs, you break down and think it’s the end of the world.
It’s almost impossible to pull yourself out of the dark abyss you fall into after a failure or setback.
For you, success and victory are the norm and you find it hard to accept anything else.
The only reason you’re so risk-averse is because you’re afraid something will go wrong.
8. You’re plagued by doubt
Your brain is your greatest enemy!
Your inner critic and low self-esteem make you afraid to take on new challenges.
You constantly doubt yourself because you don’t think you have what it takes to succeed.
You’ve had a poor self-image since childhood, when you always felt you were wrong, no matter what you did.
9. You have low self-esteem
Growing up with parents who constantly criticized you can leave a mark on your self-esteem.
When you hear this kind of communication from your parents for years, you develop a poor self-image.
Children are unable to deal rationally with this kind of criticism.
So they grow up thinking: “I must be the problem” or “I’m unworthy”.
Over time, this inner dialogue becomes your reality.
As the child grows, the repressed feeling of being unworthy and incapable remains.
That’s why you may have difficulties with your self-esteem.