It’s up to us parents to set our children on the right path. We have to put them on a stirrup that will guide them towards a good life.
Not to have everything they want now, but to one day be able to take care of their own wishes.
That’s why parents’ job isn’t and shouldn’t be wish fulfillment.
As hard as this may seem, it’s a reality we have to accept.
And that’s exactly why you don’t need to do all the things listed below instead of your children.
Nor, for that matter, do you have to do them in order to help your children.
Don’t give in to your child’s every demand
Some whims are legitimate, others are preposterous.
So it’s important to set limits and explain to your child that you refuse to be his whipping boy.
He can’t do everything he wants.
1. Cooking two dishes because your child doesn’t like something
If he doesn’t taste it, how can he know he doesn’t like it?
If he doesn’t taste, how can he learn to like certain foods?
2. Giving in because he cries
Too often, children deliberately cry just to get something.
Give it to them the first time and they’ll cry even harder the next time.
Jackpot! Now they know exactly how this trick works.
3. Do their homework for them
It might be quicker for parents to get involved with the kids’ homework more often, but why?
It’s not good for children’s learning at all.
Where’s their knowledge and ability?
After all, homework is designed for children to work alone at home.
It’s part of their schooling.
4. Replace broken toys with new ones
While they lasted – they lasted.
How will they learn to appreciate things if you keep buying them new ones?
5. Buy them everything everyone else has
In the face of crying, nagging children who want to have everything that’s the same and new (like their friend), the only thing to say is this:
I’m not your friend’s mother.
It’s a phrase that probably annoyed you as a child, but there’s so much truth in it.
Once they start making money, they’ll realize that it’s simply impossible to have everything they want.
And until then, it will save you a lot of money and nerves.
6. Don’t limit screen time
Children take as much as you give them and then some.
This is a well-known rule for children, so you as a parent need to know how to dose.
Especially when it comes to the time they’ll spend in front of silly games on their cell phones.
7. Look for anything they’ve lost
Children lose things all the time, but they won’t look for their toy until you stop.
In fact, he’ll only find his toys when he realizes you won’t do it for him.
8. Clean up their rooms and mess
You’re a mom, not a maid.
Your role is to teach them to clean up after themselves, not to clean up after themselves.
9. Drive them to school
Unless they’re really late or it’s your fault.
Let them start moving on their own and start doing their chores on their own as soon as possible.
10. Buy them designer clothes
Children should play carefree and get dirty outside, without paying attention to their expensive clothes.
And moms should work to nurture the child, not just to dress him or her fashionably.
11. Fighting their battles
Children simply have to learn to stand up for themselves, to quarrel if necessary, to feel for themselves when they have to set limits.
The parent should be there as a support, but not as a lawyer.
Children simply have to learn to fight for themselves, because that’s a skill they’ll need when Mom and Dad aren’t with them all the time.
12. Thinking for them
Children know very well that when they’re with their parents, they don’t have to think with their heads as much.
This is called responsibility, which they don’t acquire if you think for them.
Let them forget, let them go to school and even without a bag if necessary, next time they’ll just think a little more about their stuff.
13. Hold their hand even at a job interview
Their job, their project, their school, their childhood…
And they have to go through it all with your help, but not your hand.
14. Give them as much money as they need
Moms and dads aren’t ATMs, and their children really aren’t the only “expense”.
Learn to say “no” so they realize the value of money as soon as possible.
15. Buy them a car as soon as they pass their driving test
You know, rich people make mistakes, even more than “normal” parents – because they think money will buy everything a child needs.
He passed his driver’s test at 18?
Good for him!
Does he need a new car?
Not really!
16. Let them go on vacation on their own, even if they seem a bit too young for it.
If you think they’re too young, refuse outright.
If you don’t feel like getting really angry, you can tell them that they’ll be going on vacation alone in a few years’ time.
And if they tell you it’s not fair, because their friend has the right to do it, reply again:
I’m not your friend’s mother.
What did they say – it’s not fair because my friend can?! – your answer is number 5.
17. Sleeping with friends in the middle of the week
The week is reserved for school, study and rest, and the weekend for these gatherings.
Then, when he’s older, he can spend the night with a friend.
Not before!
18. Teenage love does exist, but does it have to take place under your roof?
We all know what teenagers go through when they get permission to spend the night with their girlfriend/boyfriend.
But not under your roof, it’s just too soon.
Even at the cost of them hiding out somewhere someday.
19. Socializing with alcohol
It’ll be hard for a parent of a toddler to understand this, but kids today are getting “wilder” all the time.
And while many might say – the more you forbid it, the more they’ll want it – with alcohol and even “benign” beer, the rules are clear.
As long as your child is a minor, you can’t allow them to do that.
At least not under your roof, because that would only mean one thing – your child has no limits.
20. Go out until morning
Even though children go out younger and stay out later, staying out, unsupervised, all night – this really isn’t a good lesson.
Maybe your child and his friends, if you let them, will see you as a really cool mom, but remember: kids don’t need cool moms, they need parents with a steady hand.
That’s all they need!