Which parenting style is most encouraged in modern America is probably a question you’re asking yourself as a new parent.
Maybe you’re not a parent yet, but you will become one soon. Maybe you’re not a new parent, but you’re interested in learning more about parenting styles and which style parents use the most.
No matter how much we love our children, changing our methods and approach is sometimes essential.
Luckily, you can find anything online. You can learn from other people’s experiences and find a way to be a better parent.
This article will help you to find your voice as a parent, and you will be more confident in your parenting skills.
Which Parenting Style Is Most Encouraged In Modern America?
A question like which parenting style is most encouraged in modern America has a simple answer: authoritative parenting.
But keep in mind that there are different parenting styles and many ways to parent a child.
Some people decide to follow a style, and others find themselves in a particular style. It’s also important to know that kids can be so different that a parent has to have separate parenting styles for each kid.
Most parents think this is unnecessary, but if you want to be there for both of your kids and do your best, you have to understand their uniqueness. Keep reading to learn which style parents use the most.
Authoritative Parenting Style
The authoritative parenting style is also known as Propagative and democratic parenting. This parenting style is the most popular one for a good reason. They also call it positive parenting.
Authoritative parenting is all about setting rules and boundaries for your kids while being supportive and caring. This is the most effective parenting style for now because it teaches the kids that they can’t do whatever they want.
They realize that everything in life has consequences, and they have to be responsible.
On the other hand, parents who use authoritative parenting are open to communication and offer much understanding and support.
Every child is unique, and some kids won’t respond well to this particular parenting style. This is just something that works for most parents.
If you want to start with an authoritative parenting style, you have to be strict and clear and set rules you want your children to follow.
You also have to make an effort to explain everything and find a way to help your kids realize the difference between right and wrong. You must be patient, persistent, committed, and focused on your parenting goals while pursuing an authoritative style.
Setting rules is crucial because kids must know what is off the limits. Of course, sometimes the kids will do something unimaginable that wasn’t on your list of rules.
So, if you feel that this is your parenting style, you need to find some quiet time for yourself and make a plan. Create your rules, and try to make them work.
Write down everything you feel it’s essential. Mom planning will be helpful in this situation.
If you want to do this right, prepare for much hard work. According to other people’s experiences, the authoritative parenting style is the most effective and the hardest.
You will have to be strict in a situation when you just want to hug your child.
On the other hand, you will have to be reasonable and understanding when you’re outraged. This approach is successful because kids realize that the real world is filled with rules and codes of behavior.
Most kids raised using an authoritative parenting style become independent, intelligent, and confident adults.
They had love and support but were also advised to follow the right path.
Many authoritative parents make mistakes when using this parenting style because this style requires a lot of dedication and planning.
You have to be a good cop and a bad cop. You have to be the one who breaks their heart sometimes, but you also have to be the one who will heal them.
I think it’s worth it. It would be great if we could be best friends with our kids while being adored by them, but things are different.
Some kids are well-behaved, and they don’t need a lot of parenting to become great. Some kids require different parenting style or a combination of a few parenting styles.
Combining parenting styles is messy, but if you feel one style is not the best for your child and yourself, go for it.
Personally, I think that an authoritative parenting style creates a perfect balance in the family, and it can lead to actual family values if you do it right. You must work on your attitude and parenting methods, but that hard work pays off.
Pros of Authoritative Parenting:
- Effective, popular, and positive parenting style.
- Teaches responsibility, rules, and consequences.
- Encourages open communication and support.
- Fosters independence and confidence in children.
Cons of Authoritative Parenting:
- Not suitable for all children.
- Requires strictness and dedication from parents.
- Emotionally challenging for parents to balance nurturing and discipline.
- Time-consuming and demanding.
Authoritarian Parenting Style
Since the authoritarian parenting style is similar to the previous style I’ve mentioned, I will use its other name more often – totalitarian parenting.
If you’re wondering which parenting style is most encouraged in modern America, you won’t get many answers connected to totalitarian parenting.
This parenting style is all about being strict and rigid. This style of parenting was popular in the past.
The parents who approve of totalitarian parenting don’t care about their children’s opinions and feelings. Some don’t even have rules; they just punish the kids when they do something wrong.
The children have to learn the rules on the go. In this case, parents want ultimate obedience and respect. They think it’s good that children are afraid of them, and they want to control their kids’ life.
The authoritarian style is usually not so effective. Most kids learn how to be good liars and have problems with confidence and trust.
Authoritarian parenting also approves harsh punishment and actions without explanation. That means that parents don’t acknowledge their children.
They do what they want and want to look like a boss in every situation. Some people think it’s good to do this, but your kids will grow up and resent you. Many people who grew up in strict families are traumatized; consequently, they let their children do anything.
They don’t want to be like their parents but don’t understand that some control, respect, and rules are suitable for everyone.
Some people think a totalitarian parenting style is great for problematic kids, but that would be a quick fix.
Every child needs understanding, guidance, and explanations. They need a good example, and they need to understand why certain things are wrong.
This is why many people use an authoritative parenting style – it gives them flexibility, solutions, and the best of both worlds. I don’t suggest a totalitarian parenting style because it usually backfires, and problems worsen.
In the past, people were different and authoritarian parents were normal, and it’s a bit silly to expect modern kids to be super obedient.
Pros of Authoritarian Parenting:
- Can provide quick fixes for immediate behavior control.
- Some people may believe it is suitable for problematic children.
Cons of Authoritarian Parenting:
- Strict and rigid parenting style.
- Disregards children’s opinions and feelings.
- Lack of rules and explanations.
- Can lead to children becoming good liars and having confidence and trust issues.
- Harsh punishment without acknowledgment.
- Children may grow up resenting their parents and experience trauma.
- Not effective in the long term.
- Modern kids may not respond well to this style.
Permissive Parenting Style
Permissive parenting sounds much better compared to a totalitarian parenting style. It doesn’t involve punishments and being harsh. Many modern parents would say the permissive parenting style is better than the authoritative one.
Everybody has the right to choose, but permissive parenting could cause many complications.
Permissive parenting means letting your kids do whatever they want. You’re only there to give love, support, and understanding. You exist to satisfy their needs and give them unlimited freedom, time, money, and resources.
People who approve of a permissive parenting style believe it will help the kids become more independent. They think that kids will be more confident and decisive.
Permissive parents want their kids to feel excellent about themselves, and they want them to enjoy life simply.
Some parents use the permissive style not because they want their kids to be free and independent but because they don’t want to be negative characters.
Of course, this is not a solution. Even if you agree that permissive parenting is beneficial, you must realize that most kids raised this way lack discipline and structure. They try to raise children in the best way, but sometimes they are wrong.
Most of them aren’t successful later in life, and they have problems with relationships. They think they’re better than others, and they want to control everything and everyone.
They’re not realistic in most cases which is a problem in adult life. Their self-esteem is based on unimportant things, and that creates problems in communicating with others.
For this reason, permissive parenting can create permanent problems, and you could ruin your child’s life. Other people don’t care about your child’s wishes as you do.
Some parents use permissive parenting not because they think it’s good but because they don’t want to be the bad guys.
They want to be cool and supportive. They’re afraid of their child’s opinion. This is wrong on many levels because nobody loves a child more than a parent, but parents must be responsible and critical.
I don’t recommend this parenting style, and most experts don’t recommend it. It can cause many problems in your family, and it’s not the right way to show your child your unlimited love.
Pros of Permissive Parenting:
- Avoids punishments and harsh discipline.
- Emphasizes love, support, and understanding.
- Some believe it can promote independence and confidence.
Cons of Permissive Parenting:
- Lacks discipline and structure.
- Children may struggle with decision-making and lack realistic perspectives.
- Problems with relationships and communication skills may arise.
- Self-esteem based on unimportant factors can lead to difficulties in adulthood.
- Permanent problems and potential negative impact on a child’s life.
- Parental fear of being seen as the “bad guy” can compromise effective parenting.
- Not recommended by experts due to potential family and personal issues.
Neglectful/Uninvolved Parenting Style
A neglectful parenting style is also known as an uninvolved parenting style. If you want to know which parenting style is most encouraged in modern America, you’re definitely not a neglectful parent.
But some neglectful parents don’t care. You can’t say they’re using a particular style. They don’t take good care of their kids, and that’s a simple explanation of this parenting style.
Neglectful parenting style can be different. Some people don’t even care what their kids are eating, whether they are dressed well, whether they are cold, or if they’re sick.
I’m afraid that’s wrong, and authorities should handle this immediately.
However, some parents are neglectful in a different way. They give their kids everything they need.
Kids have food, a roof over their heads, and everything they want, and they seem well taken for.
But some parents provide these things for their kids, but they’re not interested in their kid’s life. Nothing gets to them, and they don’t care about their child’s mistakes or achievements.
In many cases of neglectful parenting, someone else takes care of children and their material and emotional needs. But we all know that kids need their parents.
No matter how great someone else is, we all want our parent’s love and approval. As you can see, a neglectful parenting style shouldn’t be an option for anyone with some common sense.
It makes no sense doing pros and cons since everything about this parenting style is wrong.
Balanced Parenting Style
One of the most flexible parenting styles in modern America is the balanced parenting style. This style combines all the other parenting styles a parent likes.
I’ve mentioned that combining parenting styles is hard and can end up horrible, but with a lot of work and planning, it’s not impossible.
If you want to create the perfect balance between parenting styles, you should explore the stages of parenting.
Doing that lets you know what to expect in each stage and which parenting methods are the best.
Every parenting style requires dedication and commitment. This one is the most flexible because you’re the one who creates it. It’s just hard to plan it out in the beginning. A balanced parenting style means you will be a permissive parent in some situations and authoritative in others.
A neglectful parenting style is never a good idea. Ignoring young kids in some situations can be effective, but true neglect is unwelcome.
Learning about Montessori parenting is also a great way to educate yourself about parenting tricks, tips, and hacks.
A totalitarian parenting style should be avoided.
But, if you’re parenting a problematic child and sometimes you have to take complete control to prevent some chaos, you can apply the authoritarian parenting style.
Make sure to follow this style only when it’s needed because using it all the time won’t give you a lot of positive results.
This seems like the best parenting style, but you must plan it thoroughly and make it work. You must be mentally and emotionally strong to switch quickly from style to style.
How To Choose The Best Parenting Style?
Some people always knew they would be authoritarian parents or authoritative parents. Some people always knew that their style of parenting would be unique.
Others knew that they would combine different styles of parenting.
But, some people have no idea which parenting style to choose and which one would be the best for their child development. They don’t know how to parent a child successfully.
They feel overwhelmed but know that being a parent means making decisions you don’t like so much.
When choosing a style of parenting, parents have to be realistic. You have to know what kind of person you are. You have to choose a style of parenting that you can do while raising children.
Also, you have to choose a style that works for your children. No matter how badly you want to practice a particular style, you must choose the one that works.
For example, you want to be an authoritarian parent, but your child’s behavior only worsens when you apply this parenting style.
Maybe you want to be a permissive parent, but your child is breaking all the rules and exposing others to problems; you must think of some strict rules.
You must be critical and admit some things to yourself even if you don’t like them. You can create your parenting style combined with other styles. You can choose a style and move to another one if it isn’t working.
The most important thing is to stay calm and accept that you will make mistakes. People make mistakes, and nobody’s perfect.
You’re in charge of another human being, and everything can’t be great.
I’ve mentioned that having more than one kid can also be problematic. Nobody is identical, but some kids are so different that you must choose different techniques to raise them.
So, be positive and find the best parenting methods for yourself. One thing to remember is to show love and care.
Children raised in families where love was always present are much happier and more successful. For this reason, always add a lot of love to your parenting style.
It’s Important To Be Confident
Confidence is important in every area of your life. When you’re confident, you’re more motivated and decisive.
Other people see you differently, and achieving your goals is easier. Confidence in choosing a parenting style is very significant.
When you find someone who seems like someone to have a family with, you must discuss some basic methods of raising kids. Of course, you don’t know what will happen when you have kids, but some things should be said initially.
People with different backgrounds get together more than you think, and it’s important to have some expectations and share them with that person.
But things can change since you never know what kind of a mom you will be. When you and your partner have a child or are about to have one, it’s important to agree on parenting techniques.
There will be situations where the two of you will have different opinions, but being there for each other and working as a team is crucial.
If you and your partner struggle with parenting styles, you must be confident. You have to stand up for yourself, but at the same time, be open to compromise.
Think about your issues, and decide what happens next. Be confident in your decisions. If you want to stick with your choice of parenting style, stand tall and have a lot of self-esteem.
If you’re willing to compromise and flexible, you should be confident. You know what you’re doing, and everybody should see that.
Choosing a parenting style with your partner is not as complicated as it seems. There is something more complex than this, and this is dealing with the rest of the family.
People judge people.
People question other people’s choices, and that shouldn’t bother you.
Don’t waste your time and energy on critics and disrespect when you know what you want.
Don’t let them get to you. However, you must be cautious when a family member does more than talk.
You have to let everyone know that you’re in charge. No matter how much they love your children, you love them more. If they want to cause problems in your family, they shouldn’t be a part of your life.
This is not just about someone getting too involved. This is not about being angry at someone. It’s about people getting involved, and undermining could cause negative consequences.
Children aren’t mature to understand things like adults. You don’t need an argument with your child because someone else did something that’s not according to your parenting style.
Confidence and dedication will save your mental health. Your kids and other people will respect you more, and you will feel better.
When you decide what you want, make it happen and stick to it. Don’t be insecure, and always work on improving yourself as a parent.
Parents have to think of many things when choosing a parenting style. Deciding on these things is stressful but important. Some parents don’t want to make final decisions, so they go with the flow.
That can turn out well, but only if you’re lucky. Having a vision of your parenting path is a much better thing.
But don’t expect perfection in whatever method and style of parenting you choose. Parenting is hard, and there is no recipe for it. You have to be flexible, and you have to be persistent no matter what happens.
You will fail, and you will be disappointed. You will be sad, and things won’t turn out how you want them to. But that’s life, and that’s normal.
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Hi all, I am Sidney, an accountant, a hobbyist photographer, and a mother to two sweet girls who are my motivation. I love sharing the tips and tricks I gained all these years I’ve been a mother. I hope it will help you!