Clearly, when you have young children, the rhythm of life changes. It’s no longer possible to get up at the last minute to go to work, sleep in on weekends or party late into the night.
Habits change, and so do we. And if you thought you knew the definition of “fatigue”, you’re wrong. From now on, we reach new levels of exhaustion.
Sure, we have to deal all day with fussy mini-versions of ourselves, unable to explain clearly what they want. Frustrating!
If, on top of that, you’re working, you have to juggle household chores, professional obligations, meals, children and so on. Honestly, just listing everything I do in a day makes me dizzy.
All I do is run. Well, I’ve got three kids, so it’s kind of normal. But moms with one or two kids also run all day. And I can’t imagine what mothers with more children have to do.
God help you! And then, in our tiredness, stress and frustration, we get the other women to give us a hard time.
Look, her hair’s not done. Well, as usual…
Her house is a mess.
Such laziness! Her children play alone, while Madame drinks her coffee.
What happened to female solidarity? Why are we so mean to each other? Instead of supporting each other and showing understanding and tolerance, we shoot each other!
Clearly, all this means that moms are exhausted… all the time! But that’s not all: there are situations that exacerbate this feeling of pronounced fatigue.
1. Moms don’t have much time for themselves.
Spending all day focusing on others is simply exhausting. Don’t get me wrong, I love being a mom. It’s a pleasure to be a mother and it’s a beautiful sacrifice, but sometimes too many things pile up.
From sunup to sundown, we’re focused on someone else. I used to have time to myself after work or at the weekend.
I could go to the bathroom on my own! That may make you laugh, but it’s the reality of things. I could drink my coffee in peace and watch a series.
Now, everything I do has to be done in a hurry and in a constant hubbub. As mothers, our main job is of course to look after our children.
But that doesn’t mean we have to let ourselves go completely. Because taking care of ourselves is what motivates us. So when we let ourselves down, we get tired and depressed more easily.
2. Moms are always on the alert.
All their senses are on alert, all the time! Yes, they have a sensory sensitivity that enables them to spot threats more easily than people who don’t have children.
But this hypervigilance means that moms are constantly overanalyzing. They scan their surroundings, knowing that their children are too small to protect themselves on their own.
This excessive and continuous attention exhausts them. Yes, I’m on the edge of my seat, because I have to keep a constant eye on all my children.
Danger can lurk in situations that may seem completely banal at first glance. But as they say, it’s when things are quiet that a mom needs to be on the alert.
3. Excessive caution.
To build on the previous point, excessive attention means excessive caution. What does this mean? Whatever situation a child finds herself in, a mother can’t help but imagine the worst.
And as the saying goes, the older the child, the bigger the problems. When they were in the cradle, dangers were few and far between.
Now that they’re running around, everything is a threat. A child swinging on a chair, another running around a table, and so on.
While the kids are playing, the moms spot anything that could be a problem. For example, we never lose sight of our children.
And when we sleep, all our senses are alert. As a result, anxiety and worry build up and stress us. And what stresses us, exhausts us.
4. Multi-tasking taken to extremes!
As a mom, I’m a pro at multi-tasking. In fact, I don’t really have a choice 🙂
I don’t want to waste time so I rarely watch TV, without folding laundry, ironing or doing anything else. When I’m on the phone, I feed my baby. In short, I want to save as much time as possible.
But that’s no good, because it means we never take a break. We don’t enjoy the little moments of tenderness with our children, we don’t take the time to smell the flowers.
We put a lot of pressure on ourselves to be perfect in every way. For example, it’s imaginable for us to have a messy house.
Why would we do that? Because we don’t want anyone to come along and say we can’t handle everything we have to do. Critics beware: we can handle EVERYTHING, don’t worry about us.
It’s just that sometimes we get overwhelmed and fall down from exhaustion. But we’re fine!
5. Routine.
It’s the same thing every day. And I love that, to a certain extent. Yes, my kids get up and go to bed at the same time every day.
Their days are well organized. I want them to learn to manage their leisure and work time, so I try to set a good example.
But as a mother, establishing this pattern and sticking to it is far from easy. Every day, I have to go to work, make dinner, tidy up, wash, do the laundry, tell a story, bathe my children, and so on.
This routine is exhausting, even if it is reassuring. Plus, you really do get tired of everything. I’m tired of wondering if my kids are going to eat healthy, play safe and learn.
No matter how organized you are, no matter how efficient you are as a mother, and no matter how well you raise your child, being a mother of young children requires a great deal of focus and a constant sense of attention and supervision.
And that’s what’s going to wear you out when you become a mother. There, now you’ve been warned!