If your kids are like most, they’re good at finding creative ways to wear you down to get what they want.
You may be thinking:
My child is just too smart for his own good!
Children are such that they just want to do what they want, anytime, anywhere.
They’re not mature enough to know that others have needs that they must meet to be happy.
Children are always focused on themselves, and that’s normal.
On the other hand, children are also smart enough to recognize and understand that they use certain tactics to manipulate the adults around them, especially their parents.
And of course, it depends on the child’s age to what extent they can express these manipulative acts.
But believe it or not, even toddlers are capable of recognizing effective ways of getting what they want from their parents.
That’s why I’m going to give you the five most obvious signs of manipulation in your child.
Is he deliberately putting you through hell?
1. Your child has explosive tantrums
Some children don’t take “no” for an answer.
If you don’t comply with their demands, they can turn into monsters.
This is particularly characteristic of young children, as it takes a lot of patience and effort to explain to them why they can’t get something at a particular time.
If the child then realizes that emotional outbursts will get them what they want, they will behave in this way more often.
These children can become uncontrollable and have difficulty managing their emotions, manifesting as sudden outbursts, aggression, rudeness or crying.
Parents know their child best, so at this stage you should find a good reason why the child can’t get something he or she will understand.
Such emotionally intense behavior can confuse parents into complying with the child’s wishes.
Some fulfill this wish only because they can’t hear the child crying.
So they simply give the child more reasons to behave this way in the future.
Besides, if you make a promise during these outbursts, then you must keep it.
2. Your child wears you down with repetition
Children believe that if they ask for enough and don’t give in, they can wear you down.
They feel your love and know that it’s very hard for you to say no to them.
So they don’t give up easily by simply asking you once or twice if they can have something.
They get very close to your face and start smiling.
Suddenly, their hands are around your neck and they start kissing you.
Why do they do this?
Today, all children are smart, they just know that they are so loved that almost nobody could say no to their suggestions and wishes.
And in such situations, parents have a big problem.
You have to react with your head, but the heart says something completely different.
After that comes the fight!
In such situations, you just have to fight with yourself and stay tough.
Remember that saying “no” will teach and give your children much more than you would if you granted their wishes.
It can be tiring, but you must try to be tough or the kids will learn that if they try hard enough, they will succeed.
3. Your child refuses to respond or react
As you can see, not all children manipulate in the same way.
Some children use the tactics of others to get something done, to protest or to manipulate parents into changing their decision.
You ask a child to pick up a piece of clothing he’s left on the floor.
No reaction.
But with the look on his face, he makes it clear that he’s heard what you’ve said, but doesn’t want to react to it.
You ask the child why he’s adopting a tearful tone.
No response.
Even if your child doesn’t react at all in these situations and doesn’t have emotional outbursts, you still need a lot of patience to deal with it.
Because it can also be frustrating when he won’t say a word.
Children recognize this and, like everything else, use it to their advantage.
It doesn’t matter if the question was confrontational or not.
No matter how you ask the question, you won’t get an answer.
More often than not, the child will say later that he didn’t hear the question, even though you were literally inches away.
The child is manipulating you by choosing not to answer.
4. Your child lies to you
In order to get more out of parents, children usually resort to lying and playing the victim card.
When I say “lie”, I mean any kind of lie.
If he gets a bad mark at school, a child may lie and say that the class teacher doesn’t like him very much or has something against him.
On the other hand, he may tell others that his parents are bad.
This is to let others know that his parents aren’t good enough.
Children don’t think about the consequences and what others would say.
They only care about getting what they want.
This can force parents to give children more than they need.
But we need to find another way to deal with this kind of manipulation.
5. Your habit of making empty threats
This kind of manipulation has something to do with parents.
Because in this section, I’m going to talk about the empty threats parents make to their children.
Then the kids take advantage of them, and when they see that the threats aren’t followed by action, they continue their bad behavior.
Make sure the consequences match the behavior.
And of course, the most important thing is that you do what you tell the child to do.
Don’t threaten so easily!
The child should feel the consequence now rather than later, because a child knows when his parents are bluffing.
Perhaps children don’t immediately show that they know you’re not serious.
Because this situation doesn’t particularly suit them.
So they wait a while and then start their bad behavior all over again.
Your consequences need to be more realistic and also achievable.
This way, the child will continue to assault his younger brother as long as he doesn’t think he’ll suffer the consequences.