The Struggle Of Children Who Witnessed Domestic Violence

The struggle of children who witnessed domestic violence is quite serious and ignored. People tend to pay more attention to abuse victims. People think that the abuse has only a few victims who experienced it.

Unfortunately, there are many cases where certain people only watched while someone else was abused. Sometimes, they witnessed when their brothers and sisters were abused.

In most situations, they witnessed the abuse that happened to one or both of their parents. The problems of only witnessing the abuse are far more serious than you think.

There are so many little details in every violence case that it’s hard to analyze all of them. However, when the children are involved, we must do better. We must see and understand their pain.

When children witness domestic violence, their life is changed forever. Post-traumatic stress disorder is common in these situations and other long-term effects.

The Struggle Of Children Who Witnessed Domestic Violence

A woman from Savannah, Georgia decided to share her story. Her twins witnessed domestic violence, and she believes that their health problems were caused by that.

Latrelle Huff was in an abusive relationship, and her boyfriend raped her. Her children were conceived through rape. Many people don’t understand the problem of rape in a relationship.

Some of them think that rape is only possible when a stranger does it in a dark alley. Unfortunately, many women experience marital or relationship rape and sexual abuse.

Latrelle stayed with her boyfriend but he continued to abuse her during pregnancy. Her baby boy was born with floppy baby syndrome – poor muscle tone – hypotonia.

When she gave birth, her partner would hit her while holding their children. She bled a lot after her birth, and doctors believed that it was because of the stress.

Both of her children have many health problems, including speech problems. She reported her boyfriend, and they went to trial.

He was charged with assault and battery, and he did a pretrial program to avoid conviction. Unfortunately, Latrelle’s bigger issue is her children’s health. Many professionals claim that the abuse caused children’s health problems.

Today, Latrelles is a counselor and she’s trying to help other people to deal with their life problems.

Her kids see their dad but under supervised visitations. She is afraid that he will do something to their kids because she knows that he is capable of anything.

She reported him many times for different things, and at one point, she even got a restraining order.

Unfortunately, Latrelle and her children weren’t protected. She has to protect herself and she has to worry all the time.

Why Do People Stay In Abusive Relationships?

Domestic violence is a very complex topic and the victims are all different. Some of them are taught that it’s normal to be abused.

Others think that they deserve it or that everybody makes mistakes. Domestic violence is something that happens all the time, and it’s impossible to create a universal definition.

However, when children are involved in all these problems, it’s even harder to leave. Most victims are aware that their children shouldn’t be a part of that, but they’re afraid that the abuser will hurt them.

They try to make their partner happy thinking that it will protect the kids. They try to be more intimate with their partner. They try to justify the physical abuse, hoping that there will be no child abuse.

That’s why domestic abuse victims need a lot more support. That’s why we have to do something so children in schools learn about the signs of toxic behavior and abusive personality.

We should fight against violence every day. So many people are affected by it, and so many people are afraid to speak up.

The Connection Between Abuse And Health Problems

It sounds logical when you hear that the abused victim had some health issues. But, it seems weird when someone who simply witnessed the abuse has problems.

Especially, when we talk about the unborn children and babies who don’t know what’s happening. Many people would say that they can’t have any domestic violence consequences.

Many studies have shown that children’s brains can be damaged by hearing and witnessing stressful situations, even when there is no child abuse involved. Even if they’re not aware of domestic abuse, they will be affected by it.

Those problems can occur right away, like in Latrelle’s twin’s case, but sometimes it takes time.

Many children grew up without any issues. They witnessed the abuse in their family, but they lived their life. They went to school, and everything was fine.

However, in most cases, it’s just a matter of time before the children will experience the negative consequences of witnessing violence.

Those problems are usually connected with their mental health, social skills, and confidence. Their brain was programmed to see violence as a part of a normal day.

They’re scared, anxious, and insecure. It’s important to remember that the brain is mysterious and powerful. It’s impossible to completely explore it or explain it.

Stress, emotional issues, and subconscious trauma can lead to physical problems as well. It’s proven that people who witnessed violence when they were kids have more health issues.

Their brains can’t develop properly because unnatural things surround them. They’re traumatized for life even when they don’t know it.

The struggle of children who witnessed domestic violence is also connected with their power to choose wisely. They’re so used to violence that they don’t know how to choose good partners and friends. That way, they end up in abusive and toxic relationships again.

Witnessing violence is very damaging for everyone, but children are more affected because their brains and their personalities aren’t developed yet.

One of the worst things is the fact they’re lonely. They feel abandoned and betrayed. They can’t trust anyone. They can’t even trust the person who is the victim of the abuse.

They feel lost and they don’t know how to find a way out. Many parents who were domestic violence victims have problems with their kids because the kids don’t feel safe around them.

They witnessed violence, and it’s hard for them to see what’s truly going on. Children are too innocent, fragile, and immature to move on with their lives properly.

How To Help?

It’s easier to help children when they’re younger. Everyone needs to understand that witnessing abuse is very dangerous.

Friends, family, and teachers should be more attentive and gentle. We all need to protect every child. There are professionals who deal with these problems.

It’s very hard to remove a child from a toxic environment if the child isn’t abused. That’s why it’s important to support and understand that kid. It’s important to keep fighting.

If you’re very close to the child, a parent maybe, it’s essential to protect the child. It’s important to learn that witnessing violence can ruin someone’s life.

As I’ve mentioned, children who witnessed the abuse have problems connecting with everyone, including their parents who were the victims.

Many people in this world become criminals because of their childhood traumas. It’s important to try and give every child some peace, joy, and freedom.

Adults Who Witnessed Violence When They Were Children

Before we start talking about adults who witnessed abuse while they were children, we have to say something about adults who are witnessing it.

Some people are connected to abuse their whole lives. Some of them experienced it while they were children and still see it daily.

Some people had a good life, but now they’re witnessing abuse every day. It’s much harder to help adults, especially if they’re still going through these difficulties.

Adults who witnessed the abuse while they were children are affected by it a lot. Their lives are difficult for them and they don’t even know what their problem is.

These people need help. They need professional help and they have to heal. They have to leave the past behind. Maybe they should leave the present too.

If you’re not a professional with a useful approach, but you know someone who went through these hardships, or you’re that someone, it’s important to be positive.

Post-traumatic stress disorder and depression are complicated and people experience different symptoms.

No matter what happened in the past, there is always a chance to start over. There is always a chance to meet better people who will make everything better.

If you witnessed violence, don’t be afraid to ask for help. Try to stay optimistic and try to improve the quality of your life. It’s not too late to be happy.

If you have someone who needs help, try to be supportive, gentle, and understanding. Try to prove that there are people who are nice and kind.

Witnessing domestic violence is life-changing, and it’s not something that should be seen as a normal thing that won’t affect anyone.

In Conclusion

The struggle of children who witness domestic violence is something that many people aren’t aware of. There are so many domestic violence cases, and there is not enough time and resources to focus on everyone.

Sometimes it’s hard to help the victims and catch the abuser. It seems impossible to pay attention to those who only witnessed the abuse.

Luckily, the experts are talking more about this topic. People who have struggled with the consequences of witnessing violence are also speaking up.

We should all hope that things will be better someday. We should all do everything in our power to help everyone who was a part of the abuse.

Children exposed to domestic violence at home are damaged, but that damage doesn’t have to be permanent. Public health needs to acknowledge the struggles of these poor kids.

The mental health of children exposed to domestic violence is in danger if we don’t do something about it. Long-term effects could be horrible for more than one person.

Sources – USA Today, Center For Health Journalism