Wrong partner and a lot of bad luck is something that happened to many single mothers. A child is the greatest joy in the world, but when you’re on your own and struggling, you forget about all the blessings you have.
You forget that your child is a miracle. You’re in such a difficult situation and you’re constantly fighting to survive.
You have to do so much work just to keep your child fed and alive. You don’t have time for joy and gratitude. You’re bitter and you feel like you will never be lucky.
On top of that, if the father of your child is not a good man, it’s even harder to be a single mom. This story will tell you about one single mom’s experience which is quite similar to other single mom’s situations.
Wrong Partner And A Lot Of Bad Luck
Joanne is a 38-year-old single mom from Maine. Her daughter is 3 years old and the father of her child is in prison.
He is doing time because he abused her during and after their relationship. She went through a lot with him, but sometimes she feels like it’s even harder now.
Joanne had a normal life. She had to work a lot to earn a decent amount of money, but she had no problem with that. She worked as a bartender, cleaner, store clerk, jeweler…
At the moment, she is working every job she can get. She also makes some money with her crafts business at home.
Her story is difficult to hear because she is not happy and she is worried. She is renting a house for 650$ a month. She’s on food stamps, and she receives other forms of government help too.
Every week’s the same, I’m always broke. The electricity, internet, diapers, toiletries, food when we run out of my food card … sometimes, if I have something I can sell … Sometimes I can borrow from my mom or my dad, but it’s not easy to ask.
Sometimes she asks her parent or friends for some money, but she doesn’t like to do that. She struggles with finding a job with flexible working hours that actually pays well.
Joanne doesn’t have enough money for everything. Every day is a struggle for her. Every month she has to work hard just to earn enough for food and electricity.
She is scared and she doesn’t know what to do. She knows that her and her daughter’s living expenses will go up in the future, and she has no idea how to earn enough money for that.
Regretting Her Choice
Joanne loves her daughter, but she knows that she could have picked a better father for her. She knows that she made a mistake. She believes that you have to be careful when choosing a partner because it can follow you for the rest of your life.
“Good luck” and “bad luck” won’t affect you if you’re not ready to control your actions and emotions.
Her ex was already in prison, and she thought that he deserved another chance in life. She thought that she was nice and that he deserved love and affection.
The two of them started a relationship, and things were okay for a while. She thought that things were going great. She lived with him and one of his children from previous relationships. He had a few children with a few different women.
Still, Joanne thought that it happens. Prison and so many failed relationships weren’t a big deal for her.
But, she got pregnant and things started to change. They didn’t have enough money for everything, the pregnancy wasn’t planned, and there was a lot of anxiety in their home.
They argued a lot until he started to abuse her. She would leave him, but she always came back. She was afraid for his daughter and she didn’t want to be a single mom.
Unfortunately, she just gave him a signal that she would put up with his abuse. He continued to abuse her physically until she called the police one day.
He was arrested, and he pleaded guilty. He is in prison, but she knows that she won’t be safe when he gets out. She believes that he’s not the type of man who will leave her alone just because they’re not together or because she’s ready to call the police.
Ever since she gave birth, she has been struggling with everything in her life. She doesn’t feel happy, and her only goal is to provide for her child.
Joanne lives a life that many other single moms live. She is not the only one who goes through these hardships of single motherhood.
Choosing The Wrong Guy
Fragile family is a term for broken families. Sadly, there are so many fragile families nowadays.
Many women are single mothers, and many men are making their lives harder. Joanne believes that she made a mistake by giving a chance to her ex. The wrong choice of a partner can ruin you and your child.
A lot of children who live with single moms grow up in poverty. According to some studies – children who live with single dads have better living conditions, and children who live with both parents have the best living conditions.
It’s hard to create a good situation when you have to work for a minimum wage while having to worry about child care, health, or health insurance. It’s hard to control life.
Most single moms will agree that the government is not doing enough to help them. Some people would say that it’s their fault they’re struggling because they chose the wrong guy. Even if this was true, the children deserve better.
Children deserve to have a good life. They deserve to have a good education and good living conditions. Single moms need a lot more help and support.
Most women who went through similar situations didn’t plan their pregnancy either. When an unplanned pregnancy turns into single motherhood, it’s impossible to feel good and happy.
Having Children With Different Men
There is nothing wrong with having children with different men, but it’s important to learn from past mistakes.
Joanne claims that she won’t get pregnant again because she knows that she could end up alone again. She already knows what it’s like to be a single mom without money and resources.
She is using birth control and she is not interested in dating right now. She also says that she doesn’t understand women who keep making the same mistake.
Child support is not enough in most cases, and many single mothers who choose the wrong guy don’t even get that child support.
There are many women who have 2 or 3 children with different fathers. Many of them are struggling financially, and it’s very hard to understand their actions.
This is why it’s important to choose a good partner. It’s important to learn from your mistakes.
Many experts believe that these women dream of being loved and taken care of, so they try to create the perfect family without analyzing the man and the situation.
They rush into things without proper thinking, and when they see that things aren’t so great – it’s usually too late.
Finding A Good Job
When you think about Joanne’s situation and choosing the wrong guy, it’s quite logical that single moms like her need better jobs.
They need to educate themselves and they need to find a good job that pays well. That would solve every problem. They could afford everything they need, and they would feel better and more confident.
Many moms, including Joanne, want to do better in life. They’re ready to do something that will bring them a better income. They want to work. Life gives them these opportunities sometimes.
However, if they want to go to school, training, or a course, they have to take care of babysitting.
Child care costs a lot of money, and it’s even harder when a mom has to be absent during the night or on weekends. So, every single mother who doesn’t have someone who will support her by taking care of her kids is trapped.
She wants to learn a skill that will help her get a better job, but she still has to take care of her child somehow.
It would be great if the authorities found ways to help these mothers. Free child care for every mom who wants to go back to school to get some sort of education and training is a solution.
This benefit would be temporary, but it would solve so many problems. There are other things that could be done, but many moms are ready to work and learn but their main issue is – who is going to take care of the children?
Taking Care Of Mental Health
Joanne is anxious, unhappy, and worried all the time. She doesn’t have the time to be happy and relaxed with her baby girl. She has to worry about some basic things all the time.
Many single moms are living the same life. They’re constantly struggling and they feel broken. They feel really bad and hopeless.
There are many things that the government could do. There are many things that these moms can and will do. However, it’s important to stay sane in the meantime. It’s important to be hopeful and positive.
Being realistic is good, but these moms need to feel more stable and focused. It’s important to give them support and help them in every way.
If you’re a single mom in a similar situation, you have to find something good in your life. You have to stay strong and you have to find a reason to live. Self-help is very important.
You will succeed one day, and all of this will look like a bad dream. You will realize that even though something bad happens in life, there is always a chance to turn things around.
A wrong partner and a lot of bad luck don’t have to define you as a person for the rest of your life. Single moms who are suffering every day are heroes and they need to endure a lot of things. They need to stay brave and hopeful.
Joanne is just another single mom who got pregnant by accident with the wrong guy and now she’s dealing with difficult consequences.
It’s important to share the stories of these women because as a society we can’t forget about them and their children. Everybody makes mistakes, and every person misjudges someone.
Maybe someone who can make a difference will read one of these stories. Maybe things will be different for these single moms one day. Bad things happen to everyone, and we have to be more understanding and empathetic. We have to embrace both good luck and bad luck.
Don’t ignore these stories and their meaning. We need to hear these women. One day, we have to do something that will stop their pain and suffering.
Source – The Maine Monitor
Hi all, I am Sidney, an accountant, a hobbyist photographer, and a mother to two sweet girls who are my motivation. I love sharing the tips and tricks I gained all these years I’ve been a mother. I hope it will help you!