I know how you feel, like all moms who “only” have one child, you have to swallow your anger and frustration every time someone says:
Poor guy, he must be lonely.
Or:
You’re selfish, you had a child for your own pleasure, but now you don’t want to give him a brother or sister so he’ll have someone to play with.
I know how your stomach turns when people start listing reasons why you MUST have another child.
Some go so far as to call you selfish for not giving your child a sibling.
Maybe you only have one child because you can’t give another or because you’re always in line for artificial insemination.
Maybe you went through a lot of stress trying to get your first angel and maybe it took so long that you’re not yet able to go through the experience again.
Maybe you had a traumatic and difficult birth and went through postpartum depression.
Or maybe you can’t afford (financially) to have another child in the current economic climate.
Or maybe…
Maybe you just think that one child is enough to be a happy family.
Whatever the reason for having just one child, remember – it’s fine.
You don’t have to justify it to anyone.
I also know it’s hard to be nice when you’re asked about a second child.
It’s hard to change the subject and smile with obvious discomfort.
You haven’t asked anyone for advice, but then again, for whatever reason, others feel the need to give you their opinion:
- Should you give her a sibling, who’ll help look after you when you’re old?
- For God’s sake, can’t you see he’s lonely? Who’s going to play with him when he grows up?
- See what beautiful children you’re making! You’ve got to make another one…
- Oh, if you’re waiting for your situation to improve, it’ll never be the right time. When it’s time for one, it’s time for two!
- Can’t you see how much he wants a sibling? Don’t you feel sorry for him?
- It’s easier with others, you’ll see.
Despite the popular belief that your child is less happy than children with siblings, the truth is that having a sibling doesn’t guarantee you’ll have a friend for life, just as being single doesn’t mean being alone in life.
No one can deny that being an only child has its drawbacks.
But why does today’s society only focus on them?
Why doesn’t anyone mention the upsides?
For example, research has shown that only children are more independent and autonomous than those with siblings.
All these rude questions and pressures on parents with just one child say more about the people asking these questions.
Finally, whether you have a child because you want to or because you can’t do otherwise, know that this doesn’t mean your child is alone in the world, as they try to present it to you.
The number of children you’ve brought into the world is no measure of your worth as a parent.
And it’s certainly not anyone else’s business to comment or tell you what to do.
You’re just as brave and hard-working as any mother with two, three or five children.
Just as your only child is no less precious than children with siblings.
And he should always be aware of this.
Why is it better to have just one child?
There are positive and negative sides to a parent’s decision to raise an only child.
The reasons why parents decide to have just one child can be many and varied: finances, career, later marriage, divorce, and so on.
In fact, as society and social networks seem to be more concerned with the disadvantages of being an only child, I’m going to do the opposite.
In fact, I’m going to give you a list of arguments that stipulate why it’s better to have just one child.
This way, you’ll be able to turn all your critics on their head.
Regardless of everything, psychologists draw attention to the positive aspects of raising an only child.
1. Financial opportunities
An only child doesn’t have to share the money in his or her parents’ bank accounts with his or her sibling, nor does he or she have to share all the securities and real estate that await him or her.
This advantage is reflected in the fact that they are better able to acquire additional training and new experiences.
2. Greater parental care
An only child generally has greater self-confidence and a more developed attitude towards his or her personality, as they receive all the attention and energy of their parents and are not in “competition” with their siblings.
3. Higher academic achievement
Twenty years of research have shown that individuals raised as only children have a richer vocabulary, score higher on tests, have a superior education and get better jobs.
The main reason for this is that their parents give them their undivided attention and talk to them a lot, which enriches their vocabulary.
4. Closer relationship with parents
It’s not a guarantee, but most individuals raised as only children develop an increasingly close relationship with their parents over the years, unlike children who have a sibling.
5. Negative stereotypes
Spoiled, arrogant, selfish and uncommunicative are just some of the attributes associated with the only child.
Yet these are just stereotypes and established opinions about them.
However, according to research, an only child integrates very quickly and easily into the new situation and quickly makes friends.
Tips for parents of only children
Every child needs special support and encouragement, whatever the size of the family he or she grows up in, so an only child is no different from his or her peers in many families.
Only children very often behave as if they were “privileged”, which causes rejection and repulsion among their classmates.
That’s why it’s important never to make a child the center of attention, and to teach him or her early on that the world doesn’t revolve around him or her alone.
Give your child plenty of opportunities to spend time with other children: take him or her to the park, camping, playrooms, sports – especially team sports – and so on.
The possibilities are many, and it’s up to you to choose what’s right for your child.
Only children sometimes have difficulty resolving conflicts, don’t tolerate teasing and aren’t ready to compromise.
A child needs to be taught not to be sensitive and full of himself.
But it’s also important to make him understand that he can’t scream or explode over every little thing, because being tolerant is a trait he’ll need later on, in the adult world.