Children aren’t always nice to each other, especially at school age and in adolescence.
As a result, your child may feel hurt by comments made by his or her peers.
It’s important to remember that children who bully and mistreat others are hiding a great deal of suffering.
I’m not trying to justify their behavior, but I think it’s essential to keep this in mind.
Either they’re suffering abuse themselves at home, or they’ve been brought up without any boundaries.
Of course, you can’t raise other people’s children; all you can do is talk to their parents.
And if that doesn’t help, you have to turn to the school.
But your greatest power lies in what you say to your child.
Self-confidence is extremely important for a child, enabling them to feel good about themselves and pursue what they want.
Some children are born with great self-confidence, as if it were genetic.
For example, you may notice that a baby always has a smile on his face and seeks attention by moving his legs or shouting.
On the other hand, you’ve probably also seen quiet babies who don’t make a fuss and enjoy silence.
So it’s clearly a question of personality, but you can’t put all your eggs in one basket.
In fact, you can also teach your child to develop good self-confidence.
Criticism, neglect and abuse destroy a child’s self-esteem.
Compliments, love and acceptance, on the other hand, are real confidence boosters.
So how can you help your child?
How can you teach him to listen to his instincts, stand up for himself and voice his opinion?
There are four key phrases that all parents can use to support their child and build good self-esteem.
1. You’re very kind and loving, I’m blessed to be your mom
When your child makes a mistake or behaves badly, it’s imperative not to criticize his personality or the child himself.
You’re always getting into trouble!
This phrase is an excellent example of what parents often say when dealing with a rambunctious child.
Yet these words are like knives in your child’s side: he immediately thinks he’s incapable of doing anything right.
So it’s important to draw attention to your child’s behavior.
I don’t like it when you hit your brother!
With this sentence, you’re telling him that what he’s doing isn’t right, and that doesn’t call into question your love for him or the fact that he’s a good child.
Just as you draw attention to what he does wrong, you should also praise him when he behaves well.
One of the biggest mistakes parents make is to punish and criticize the child when he doesn’t listen, but they don’t highlight positive behavior.
So when your child is patient, gentle and generous, you need to tell him or her.
Highlight his good side with a simple phrase that shows him you notice all the goodness in him.
I guarantee your child will smile broadly or hug you after this kind of encouragement.
2. You make my life more beautiful, thank you for choosing me to be your mom!
There’s a question a lot of kids ask: why are you their mom?
How come you’re a family?
Of course, it’s difficult to answer when the child is young and doesn’t yet understand the whole scientific or religious aspect.
So parents often tell their children that they chose them because they felt a deep love for them.
But if you really want to boost your child’s self-confidence, you can also say ‘thank you’ for choosing you.
Tell him how happy and blessed you are to be his mom, because your life has been a miracle since the arrival of your child.
It’s essential to let your child know that you’re not sorry you had him, and that your life is better now that he’s here.
Of course, raising children is tiring and stressful, but it also brings a lot of love, laughter and happiness.
So let your child know that your family is happy and complete with him or her.
3. You always react calmly in difficult situations, I’ve got a lot to learn from you!
As you know, children aren’t great at regulating their emotions.
It’s not their fault; they just don’t yet have the ability to understand, analyze and react accordingly.
That’s why you see your child throwing himself on the floor or throwing a tantrum simply because you’ve told him he can’t eat his yoghurt before dinner.
For you, it’s a tiny problem; for him, it’s the end of the world.
You’ve said ‘no’, you’ve set limits, but for him, it’s as if you’d said he’d never eat yoghurt again… in his life!
He can’t distinguish between small affronts and big ones.
So, after several outbursts, your child may have realized that his attitude wasn’t right.
Or he may have come to understand that he can get what he wants if he’s nicer.
So, when he shows patience and understanding, you should praise his behavior.
In fact, you can even reward him by telling him he can even eat two yoghurts after dinner.
Choose the battles you have to fight!
4. You’re always respectful of people, I’m proud of you!
All parents do their best to raise their children to be respectable and respected adults.
But don’t think that pushing a button at the age of 18 will turn a rebellious teenager into an independent, wise adult.
From early childhood, you need to teach your child what limits to respect.
He also needs to know that there are consequences when these limits are broken!
So show your child that you’re proud of his behavior and the respect he shows.
In talking to others, in playing and in exchanging opinions…
Don’t forget that most children learn by observing their parents, so what you say doesn’t really count!
What you do, however, is extremely important!
So show your child what respect looks like and how to communicate with others.
And when he follows your example, praise him!