Raising Teenagers is not for the weak. It’s full of rollercoasters of emotions and hormones.
Although it’s not as bad as some people make it out to be, this is a time when a child is finding themselves, they’re experimenting with new things, and experiencing new emotions!
Some go through emo phases, some party too much and some don’t party enough. But in the end, this is a time for firsts!
First jobs, first kisses, first boyfriends/girlfriends, and many other firsts!
It’s a time of joy both for the parents and the kids, no matter what others may tell you.
Read on to find out how you can navigate this turbulent and confusing time in parenting while still being a shoulder to lean on for your teen!
Teenhood: What is It and When Does It Begin?
Most people have the misconception that teenhood starts the moment your child hits the ages that end with teen. But that’s not the case.
Teenhood starts when hormones start going wild and this is a time when your kid is becoming an adult.
Well… not an adult per se, but they’re getting there!
Anyway, this is a confusing time for both the kid and the parent. Parents start losing the grip and control they had over their child and the teen starts experiencing new and strange emotions!
What To Look Out For When Raising Teenagers:
Body changes are the biggest part of teenhood. Our parents had ”the talk” with us, which was embarrassing for both parties. However, it’s a necessary one.
As the adult in this conversation, it’s important to not make it awkward for the child. Leading up to it, you need to make sure your child feels heard and seen.
The reason this conversation is so awkward for kids and parents is that people treat it as shameful when in reality it’s a normal part of life!
During this time teens become more conscious of their bodies and they start noticing these changes. Hence, the opinions of others start being important.
Society isn’t much help in this department!
However, your child will start to seek help elsewhere, not just you. This shouldn’t be too alarming since they’re learning how to take care of themselves and that’s a step in the right direction!
Technology is also a big part of the lives of teens today. Phones are practically glued to all of us at this point. But we can’t be ungrateful, you wouldn’t be reading this article if it weren’t for technology!
Anyway, much like we spend time on Facebook, they’re spending their time on Instagram or TikTok.
But do be aware that they have access to everything! Don’t impose on their privacy and try to control what they do, because that is impossible!
Be a safe space for them, not the Post Police!
Independence is what parents struggle with the most. Teens still lean on their parents for support, even though they’ll never admit it, but they do have an urge to start living life separately from yours.
Don’t be alarmed, they’ll still love you, but you need to give them room for experience.
Tips for Parents Who are Raising Teens:
As I’ve said before, you need to be a good parent leading up to these years, you need a good foundation of love, trust, and sincerity.
You need to keep in mind that all kids are different and with that, all teens are different. We speak generically about teenhood, they do have the same hormones, but all teens and emotions are different.
They are individuals, just like us, and you need to treat them as such.
Maybe they’re not quite there yet, but if you’re ready to use the infamous phrase ‘You want to be an adult? Then act like one!‘ maybe don’t treat your teen like a child first.
Now let’s take a look at some helpful tips that might help you navigate this strange time in both your lives!
#1 Be There for Them
This one goes without saying. It’s a thing that all parents should do from the birth of their child till the end of time.
It’s a thing you especially need to do when you’re a teen. They’re navigating new feelings and experiences alone and you need to make sure you’re a safe space for them.
Let them speak and provide a listening ear, after all, they didn’t order a yappuchino from you.
#2 Set an Example
Setting an example should have started from an early age, but you need to uphold those same values you’ve set before.
This doesn’t mean you should try controlling them.
I’m not talking about setting a curfew and not allowing them to do certain things. Keep in mind: Strict parents create sneaky kids.
I’m saying you need to uphold the values you set in them.
Once you become hypocritical, they’ll lose all the respect they’ve had for you, and your word will mean nothing.
#3 Food is Key
This tip might sound stupid and irrelevant, but teenhood isn’t just about the hormones. It’s about the body too.
If you’re a good cook your teen will surely want to sit at the dinner table and not their room.
Extendedly, their friends are teens as well and if they know you’re a good cook, they’ll beg to come by your house to get a taste.
#4 Give Them Alone Time and Space
Them spending time away from you isn’t a bad thing. It might feel like they’re avoiding you, but they’re not. They just need time to either de-stress or relax.
And since we’re on the topic, you have absolutely no right to just barge into their room.
They might be living under the same roof as you, but did you do that to your roommate in college? No? Don’t do it to your teen!
#5 Set Boundaries
Teens like to push you to the edge and see how far they can go without getting into trouble. It’s important to set some rules and boundaries with them to avoid major conflict.
Communicate these boundaries clearly and be straight to the point. However, you can’t just say that something is forbidden and be done with it.
Explain why you’re doing this and why this certain thing is bad for them.
For example, if it’s a curfew issue, explain why you’re setting it and the dangers of staying out late at night!
#6 Know When to Let Loose and When to Keep an Eye Out
There will be times when you should relax for a bit and let your teen be a teen, but you also need to know when to put your foot down.
Peer pressure is a dangerous thing and there are all kinds of parents and kids out there. God forbid something bad happens to your teen or they ‘stray’ the wrong way.
Even if they do do something stupid like get drunk at a party, you can’t go in guns blazing, yelling at them and punishing them.
Do you feel good when someone screams at you when you’re hungover? And don’t even try saying ‘I never got drunk, yap yap yap‘! We all did it, it’s a cannon event in everyone’s lives!
#7 Don’t Nag Them about the Little Things
Constantly yapping on about how dirty their room is or being a helicopter parent isn’t a good look for you. Your teen is more than capable of making their own decisions.
You need to take a breather and take the bench for some of the experiences that happen to them.
They’ll still come to you for guidance, but you really don’t need to meddle in if they fought with their BFF or if they didn’t get that job at the drive-thru.
#8 Don’t Be Jealous
I can’t believe I even have to say this, but don’t be jealous of or because of your kid. If they’re better than you at something be proud!
And if they get a boyfriend/girlfriend don’t be like ‘No one’s good enough for my baby boy/girl’.
Get a grip!
#9 Trust Your Gut
You might not know your child’s thoughts and feelings, but you can sense them. No book or article can provide the answers you’re specifically looking for.
You’re the one who knows your child’s patterns and the way they breathe, if you sense that something’s wrong, then something’s wrong.
Most times they don’t even need to talk about it, or they don’t want to talk about it with you. The thing that they need is comfort, not a lesson.
#10 Take Care of Yourself
Your life doesn’t stop when you have a child, you’re still you. Make time for yourself, go out for coffee, meet friends, or go for a run!
Caring for a teen is tough work, so take five and enjoy life!