A newborn child brings all sorts of newness into your life, from your daily routines to the smallest bits of your life.
That being said, a baby also brings newness into your marriage!
You and your partner might have been together for 10+ years before you had a kid, meaning that you most definitely had your own routines.
You probably loved to cuddle up and watch a movie or you always went out with friends on the weekends!
A baby will put a stop to all of that.
What Changes?
You might think you know everything about each other, their favorite color, favorite movies and the way the corners of their mouth crinkle when they smile.
You might even had a couple of pets before deciding to have a kid, but a dog is far less demanding than a child!
Having a newborn in the house means that the new normal is being woken up at 2 AM, the house is always a mess and there are many strange liquids everywhere!
Not everyone is lucky to have a plethora of family members willing to help out, so the two of you are the only people you’ve got.
What Can I Do About It?
It’s important to consider each other’s habits and needs. For example one of you might need to sleep between 11 PM and 2 AM while the other needs to sleep between 3 AM and 6 AM.
Making small compromises and adjustments during this time period will greatly benefit you both!
Finding other parents with small children also helps immensely, since you get to share tips and struggles with each other!
It’s important to be there for one another as well.
God forbid your child gets sick, one of the two parents usually gets shell-shocked, so the other might need to step up and be rational and calm in that situation.
There are times when you’ll both be under stress and you won’t be able to listen to each other, let alone lend a helping hand.
One of you might be in the mood to talk about the problems you’re having but the other won’t. Then they’ll bring up the same topic later that day and you won’t be in the right headspace to talk.
It’s a cursed cycle and a really tough one to get out of.
Therapy is something that helps new parents greatly.
It’s a space where you’ll have a mediator and you’ll be able to learn how to communicate your emotions and thoughts in a way that’s healthy for the both of you!
Apart from that, you’ll learn how to respect your partner and their boundaries.
It’s easy to get carried away when a newborn is in the house. You disregard your own boundaries, let alone your partner’s!
You may also divide your responsibilities according to your personalities!
For example if your partner is more calm and collected then they could take the kid to the doctor’s.If you’re more chatty and open then you should probably deal with school-related things.
It’s also important to make time for one another, especially when the kids get a bit older.
You can do small things like go out for lunch break together, or take it up a notch and take a weekend vacation alone!
What you need to keep in mind is that you’re not playing against each other, you’re playing together.
You’re partners and you need to be able to rely on one another at all times.
Sure one of you will be stretched out at times, but it’s important to take care of each other as much as you take care of the baby!
Conclusion
It’s important to stay on the same page throughout the years. Communicating your goals for your family and striving to achieve those goals together is the finish line.
No one knows what the future holds, but at least at the end of the day, you two need to care for each other and love each other.
The other pieces of the puzzle will eventually fall into place.