Today, everyone strives to be a perfect parent. From the moment of conception, parents become slaves to the idea that they must do nothing wrong. It has been suggested to them that every mistake, no matter how small, causes tectonic disturbances in the child’s life.
Today, a parent must devote himself totally and leave his life on the altar of children’s rights, the healthiest diet, new methods, ergonomic toys. They must never doubt themselves, nor feel that they have not lived up to the role they have been given.
It’s outrageous that, after a few sleepless nights or hours of screaming, he should want to give up and go back to his old life. For that matter, it’s outrageous that he should dare to wish, for just a few seconds, that he’d found himself at peace and quiet, or that he’d stopped running around.
And because of this moment, he won’t be able to sleep for a few days, because his conscience will eat away at him.
By the way, here are a few theses related to perfect parenthood.
The perfect parent should be concerned if :
- His child is perfectly clean every day, all day long.
- He cleans the room regularly, leaves no dirty dishes, towels or socks lying around.
- He never argues or gives evidence that he is right or that he is the victim of a terrible injustice.
- His child never comes home from school with an explanation that the bad grade was caused by the teacher giving homework from subjects he didn’t teach, or with the consolation that everyone else did badly.
- He never lies, at least in one attempt.
- He’s never late, of course unless he has a valid reason and is stunned by the drama you’re making.
- His child likes to eat everything and doesn’t complain, his heart is without protest, he never asks for a hamburger and prefers spinach to pizza, because he understands the principles of healthy eating.
- His child accepts and respects all advice given in a gentle tone, because he respects the parents’ experience and good intentions, and at the same time shows no signs of intolerance, boredom, yawning or saying he has to do something else at that particular moment.
- He has never really expressed the desire to have other parents in order to be happier.
- He wants to spend time with his parents, not his friends, and he gives up playing outside, preferring to be with his family.
- His child always tells him everything, because he understands that he can’t have better friends than his parents.
- When asked who his idol is, he mentions one of his parents, not his favorite star.
- He speaks softly, pronouncing whole sentences without wincing, waving his arms, knocking on the door, getting up demonstratively, singing while you’re telling him something, and so on.
You really need to worry if your child isn’t doing any of these things.
There are two possible causes.
The first comes from parents who probably lie because all children do this, only that rarely anyone admits it. They eat in silence and alone, thinking that all the other kids are better than theirs.
And they wonder what they did wrong to deserve such a child.
Then there are those parents whose children really do none of these things, but they have to answer the question themselves:
Are you raising your children or your own vanity?
When can their child really be a child? Is it a child or the parents’ reflection of being perfect? Which they aren’t. Indeed, if they were really perfect, wouldn’t they seek to boost their ego through their child?
Another cause can come from the child. If a child does at least three of the things listed above, you really need to worry. Especially if the change is sudden.
Why should you be concerned? Simply because he’s trying to look perfect:
To earn your love and respect
Which means you’ve put an ultimatum or a carrot at the end of the stick. In effect, you’ve put conditions on your love. In fact, you may have done this without realizing it.
Mom, can I give you a hug?
Yes, darling… As soon as you’ve finished tidying your room!
To hide a serious mistake he’s made
We’ve all done it. In fact, your life partner does it when he/she knows that you’ve become angry at him/her for spending so much money on a pair of shoes.
In fact, by adopting perfect behavior, the child is trying to smooth things over.
If they’re scolding me, it’s better if it’s for just one thing. If they’re also angry because I haven’t eaten my plate or done the dishes, I’m finished!