Take a look at our social networks, and you’ll find your kids there.
Why would you do that?
Because you’ve posted photographs on your own profiles.
We seem to live in an age where all traditional values have been lost.
Yet no one thinks about the possible harmful consequences this could have on your children’s lives, because everything is developing so fast.
We act in ways that put our children’s lives at risk, but we’re surprised and amazed when bad things happen.
We always think that misfortune will never knock on our door.
The child who’s been kidnapped lives far away…
The child who was sexually abused didn’t have considerate parents…
We always find excuses, but we never question ourselves.
One day, I woke up and listened to the news.
I know it’s a very bad habit, but the day before a fifteen-year-old girl had gone missing.
On the news, they revealed that her body had been found, she had died of an e*stasy overdose.
Shocked parents then demanded more serious work by the public prosecutor’s office and the police, as well as more education for children and parents in schools about drug use.
Two protest marches took place, the municipal authorities reacted, they agree with the citizens, they are going to do their best to manage the use of illicit substances.
I mean, I welcome the fact that they haven’t ignored the citizens’ action, but what are they going to do concretely?
Police presence has been significantly increased, there have been raids on bars, because as we all know, a dealer comes into a café full of drugs and goes from table to table.
Ridiculous!
Meanwhile, children continue to walk past the kiosk.
And you know what they’re reading?
It’s about Anne Heche, who died in a car accident due to excessive drug use, with a revoked driver’s license and exceeding the speed limit.
Newspapers are making excuses for her, justifying her choices and refusing to allocate responsibility.
We read that she was an idol, a cool person and an extraordinary actress.
On the other hand, there’s constant talk of singers using swear words in their songs, and of those who go to court for plagiarism.
The laws are lenient with drug users, but as soon as pennies come into play, then the judges become ferocious.
Lectures on the evils of drugs and addictive diseases are held in schools, I’m not saying otherwise.
Yet if you ask students if drugs are harmful, they’ll almost certainly say they’re not.
They go to these lectures completely indifferent, because for the tenth time someone is telling them that what they’re smoking, snorting or injecting is dangerous.
But they don’t talk about the causes that lead to drugs, or the concrete consequences.
There are no innovative approaches and no results.
In fact, there are, and they’re so devastating that even these lethargic people are beginning to realize that the state and its institutions are useless.
They won’t protect our children.
But who is to protect them then?
Who are the only people who are always present in children’s lives, from birth to death?
The family… Parents
Well, that’s where the trouble starts.
Analog parents, digital children
I don’t think there’s ever been a more difficult time to be a parent, and I’m sure that parents have never had so many problems.
The childhood of parents (as the only experiential knowledge about growing up a parent can have) has never been so different from the childhood of children.
Of course, today’s parents love their children as much as anyone before them, they wish them the best, their intentions are unquestionable.
Their sacrifices and efforts are great, but something is still not right.
Some will refer to modern laws that remove authority from parents, but I’m sure they themselves won’t fully believe it.
It is forbidden to beat a child, but does this mean that parental authority has disappeared?
Does the child respect and obey his parents because of the beating?
No, beating is an expression of parental powerlessness and an indicator of the number of missed opportunities to work with and educate the child.
Yet no parent wants to hear this, because it’s hard to accept, but that doesn’t make the statement any less true.
From birth, parents raise their children and learn as they do.
What should you do when your child is afraid of the dark?
What to do about his hysterical fits?
How do you punish them without traumatizing them?
All these points and many more need to be resolved before the age of three, because after that it’s too late.
At four, we don’t allow him to leave his toys scattered on the floor.
At five, he’s given a rag to wipe up dust, clothespins to put on the dryer and asked to help with other household chores.
On the other hand, we don’t raise him by giving him a cell phone in his hands as soon as he turns one.
Sure, he’ll watch Patrol, shut up and leave you alone.
You’re buying your time, but you’re neglecting the child.
Today’s parent is more frightened when a child says he’s bored than when he has a temperature of 40 degrees.
They’re ready to reach for the moon to save their child from boredom, to activate their creativity.
But that’s not the solution: boredom is just as important to a child’s development as play.
It encourages resourcefulness and independence.
And that’s where the universal terminator of children’s boredom comes in: a cell phone or tablet.
A child as quiet as a frog, images fly, pixels go crazy, the eye sees more than the brain can process.
From all this, the parent sees that the child is no longer bored, so the parent isn’t bored either.
In a few years, the parent will turn into a cab service, driving the child to practices, rehearsals, schools of this and that, and he’ll be proud of him.
It’s not the parents’ fault, and by God it’s not the law’s fault either.
No one has told a parent that it’s better to spend an hour with the child in a forest and let him climb trees, hang from a branch, jump and roll over, or spend an hour talking to the child, answering his questions, patiently explaining what’s right, what’s wrong.
I know, as a parent, you’re exhausted.
Yet, no matter how tired, anxious and stressed you are, you have to keep on parenting.
No one else can make a man or woman of that child.
Who’s more tired than the mother of a baby who hasn’t slept in months?
She can’t line up two thoughts in her head because she’s tired, and yet the next day she’s feeding, changing, bathing and putting her child to sleep.
If you’ve created a child, you must be its parent even when you’re tired, nervous and in a bad mood.
You can’t turn the child off at the touch of a button.
That is, unless you consider the YouTube icon on your phone to be a button.
A special circle of hell should be created for mothers who send their daughters to kindergarten with painted nails and pink lipstick.
But also for those who give their 15-year-old daughters money for tanning beds, nail polish and silk eyelashes.
A severe punishment should be devised for fathers who buy their 18-year-old a racing car.
Why?
Because such actions on your part directly increase the chances that your daughter will post on Instagram tomorrow half-naked, buttocks and breasts exposed, when her only meaning in life is to get as many followers as possible.
Meanwhile, you check out her Facebook account, and you’re very satisfied.
She doesn’t have hundreds of friends and you know everyone listed, they’re good kids.
But go to Instagram!
Your kids are there: taking pictures with guns, expensive whiskey bottles, leaning on other people’s expensive cars.
They feel powerful and dangerous!
And the money will flow…
You know who’s happy to see these photos?
The marketing companies…
They notice that your kids have money, that they like to prove themselves so superficially and wrongly in society, and that the most important thing to them is virtual popularity.
From experience, they know that these kids will decide on their own to look for new ways to prove themselves.
After all, saying “no” isn’t acceptable, because it doesn’t lead to the approval of others.
And if you’re not popular on social networks, you’re screwed!
This is the biggest fear of today’s teenagers.
These kids have grown up not knowing what it means to wait for a wish to come true, not knowing the feeling of hearing your parents say “no”.
If I’ve hurt your feelings, that’s okay.
It’s time to do something about it!
Teach children household chores from an early age.
It’s also important to set rules, be consistent and persistent.
In short, don’t let the rule depend on your mood.
Get the child used to waiting for a normal wish to come true, and teach him that you love him even when you say “no”.
Make him independent, don’t protect him from failure, don’t be afraid of his boredom or run away from his questions.
Limit the time he spends in front of the computer at home, monitor what he does on it, limit access to sites and applications you don’t want him to use.
Let him be afraid of something, be sad sometimes, be unhappy with some of your decisions.
And if you don’t already have authority with your teenager, God help you.