Pregnancy and motherhood are, among other things, a source of valuable life lessons. We realize this with hindsight.
However, when a woman becomes pregnant for the first time, she still doesn’t know these lessons, so she doesn’t always have the right response when faced with unexpected situations.
Fortunately, there are those moms who have already gone through the same challenges and selflessly share their valuable experiences with others to prepare new moms for new situations they may find themselves in.
As I have three children, many of my friends turn to me for advice or answers to their questions about pregnancy or motherhood.
Can I do sports during the first trimester?
When can I announce my pregnancy?
Does childbirth hurt?
Do you really fall in love with your baby as soon as you see him/her?
That’s why I’ve chosen to reveal the six things my friends insist on so much. Clearly, I would have loved to have had someone explain them to me when I was pregnant myself.
So, what do I wish I’d known before giving birth?
1. If you make a decision and share it with others, they will openly and shamelessly criticize you.
When you’re pregnant, people often have no sense of boundaries.
When I told my mother we’d chosen two names. One for a boy and one for a woman (we didn’t yet know the sex of the baby), her reaction was strange.
When I told her the male name, she was delighted.
But when I told her the female name, she made quite a face. Without context, you’d have said she’d just witnessed a horrible accident.
She didn’t like the name. And that’s just one small detail in all the decisions we made about our child’s birth and upbringing that were roundly criticized.
Fortunately, I quickly learned that I didn’t have to share every detail of my pregnancy and birth plan with everyone just because someone asked me about them.
If necessary, be vague, avoid questions or develop a very thick skin and block out any negativity.
2. No, childbirth isn’t the world’s greatest horror
Yes, childbirth is painful and sometimes scary, but try to think about the end result.
I’ve had nightmares about childbirth because of the things other people have said to me.
My mistake was listening to other moms’ stories. Each of them delighted in telling me in detail how much she had hurt, where she had been stitched up and how she cried.
In short, all the women I met had nothing but negative or frightening things to say about childbirth.
Instead of encouraging and supporting me, they were almost happy to see that I was going through the same thing they were.
Don’t let them scare you so much.
Whatever happens, childbirth is a necessary part of your pregnancy. But once it’s over, you’ll have the most perfect little miracle.
In the end, it all pays off.
3. Nothing will happen to the baby if you don’t do everything on schedule.
Don’t panic!
During the baby’s first months, I flew in every direction to get the baby on schedule.
I had a strict routine.
The baby ate at such-and-such a time, bathed at such-and-such a time, went for a walk at such-and-such a time, and so on.
It was all part of a never-ending regimen.
Yet while schedules and routines are wonderful and helpful in many ways, they shouldn’t rule your life.
If you do, no one’s going to have any fun. Motherhood should also be joyful and fun.
You need to enjoy every moment with your little one.
Just because you skip the bath one night or put him to bed early another doesn’t mean your baby will lose his bearings and ruin your day.
4. It’s okay to admit you need a break
I spent my pregnancy imagining that once my baby was born, I’d become a supermom.
Need I say that it didn’t even happen?
And I’ve reconciled myself to that.
Dishes don’t have to be washed every second, laundry can be stacked for days and I still stick to the “sleep when baby sleeps” policy.
But so what?
You too need to relax and take time for yourself. Motherhood alone shouldn’t define who you are.
We’re mothers, and that’s extremely important, but we’re still individuals.
Prevent nervous breakdowns and burn-outs and everyone will be much happier.
5. Don’t let anyone make you feel like a bad mother just because you’re doing something different.
We all make decisions that are in our child’s best interest.
If you ask ten parents how to put a child to sleep, you’ll get ten different answers.
And every one of them is right, because everyone knows what’s best for their child.
Just because everyone around you is breastfeeding doesn’t mean you have to.
If it makes you uncomfortable, or if it’s too painful for you, switch to bottle-feeding.
And the same goes for everything else.
You don’t want to follow the boy/girl color stigma, dress your child as you please.
People will always criticize you anyway. So you might as well do what you want so you don’t become your own worst enemy.
6. You don’t want certain phases to pass as quickly as possible
I did this all the time and now I’m sorry I didn’t accept every moment as it was.
Waking up four times a night wasn’t easy at all, but holding your baby in your arms while the whole house was silent was wonderful.
And now it’s over.
When you go through difficult stages, it will seem as if there is no end.
Now that I think about it, it doesn’t seem so bad.
I cared about the perfect little creature.
In any case, motherhood is, for me personally, the greatest of blessings.
It’s stimulating, useful, fun…
And if I could go back to the beginning and talk to myself when I was pregnant, I’d tell myself not to worry, to work and do a really good job.