Here Are 5 Tips For Raising A Child You Can Trust

There’s one important thing you need to know about your children: the more freedoms you deny them, the more they will escape your control.

I know you’re afraid that something will happen to your children or that they’ll get hurt. But the loss of children’s freedoms is a serious social problem.

Unfortunately, it has serious consequences, since it is responsible for the dramatic increase in the incidence of depression and suicide among young people.

People of all ages want freedom, and suffer when it’s taken away. We often forget that this also applies to children, who also need freedom to be happy and healthy.

They need their freedom to learn, grow and have their own experiences.

If, as a parent, you accept the idea that children need freedom to be happy, here are some tips on how you can, despite society’s pressure to the contrary, give your children more freedom.

1. Choose a healthy living environment

You can’t guide your child through life or teach him how to live it, but you can offer him an environment in which he will learn for himself.

That’s why it’s important to choose the right environment for your child to grow up in. Don’t choose a home based on the quality of the accommodation or the quality of the school, but on the quality of the neighborhood.

Your child needs other children to play outdoors, in mixed-age groups and without a lot of adult supervision.

He needs daily opportunities to socialize, play and explore. The larger the group, the greater the child’s safety.

In addition, parents in the neighborhood need to spend time outdoors, socializing and getting to know each other. This creates parental networks that not only increase children’s safety, but also, through the exchange of advice and observations on child development, increase each parent’s willingness to place their trust in their child.

What’s more, the more adults your children know, the more role models they’ll have at their disposal. No matter how great you and your partner are, your children need to get to know as many adults as possible and see them in real-life situations, in order to develop their idea of adulthood and possible life choices.

2. Create safe but unsupervised environments

You may not always be able to live in a neighborhood that offers opportunities for free play. Therefore, you need to make an effort to transform your current residence into such a place.

Take the initiative and meet with other parents, most of whom will be happy to support your proposal to get organized and improve children’s play conditions in the neighborhood.

You can supervise the children in shifts, if supervision is necessary. When a sufficient number of children begin to participate in daily play, supervision may no longer be necessary.

Don’t be afraid to get carried away and start organizing children’s play – it’s up to you to create the conditions, either by setting up a communal space, or by organizing family get-togethers on excursions or camping trips.

Create opportunities for children to spend time together, develop their own relationships, adapt to current youth culture norms and take responsibility for their actions.

3. Take time to redefine your personal values

Do you value freedom, personal responsibility, initiative, entrepreneurship, honesty, integrity and concern for the well-being of others?

If these are the qualities you want your children to possess, they won’t learn them at school. They are qualities acquired or lost through the experiences of everyday life.

You can help children adopt them by acting in accordance with these values and applying them to your relationship with them.

Show trust. Show them that you count on them to be honest and sincere. Supervision, control, confusion and shouting force your children to develop cunning.

Constant supervision stifles children’s sense of responsibility and initiative. Constant evaluation and competition with other children in the educational system and other structured activities develop a defensive attitude to life.

4. Learn to resist the urge to be in constant contact with your children

It’s easy and tempting to spy on your own child in the age of modern technology. You can spy on them using hidden cameras; check their Internet search history or ask for an overview of their activities on a smartphone.

You can even track him via GPS, as is the case for convicts under house arrest. It’s also easy to justify all this, under the guise of education.

But how would you like to have someone watching you all the time? Let’s say your husband or wife is watching you, recording you and judging you on your activities?

The message you’re really sending is always the same: “I don’t trust you”. You don’t even need modern technology for this – old-fashioned research methods will do.

A trusting parent doesn’t need detailed reports – everyone is entitled to privacy, secrets, opportunities to experiment without being judged for it.

5. Accept that deciding your child’s future is not your responsibility

If you truly value freedom and personal responsibility, you must respect the child’s right to chart a life course for themselves.

Your ambitions should not be their ambitions and vice versa. And charting your own course doesn’t start at the age of 18, 25 or 30, but at the earliest possible age.

Children need to learn to make their own decisions, and this can only be achieved through exercise.

Parents worry about their children’s future and find it hard to resist the urge to control. But it can only bring them defeat.

The more we smother children with advice they haven’t asked for, the less likely they are to ask us for advice when they really need it.

Remind yourself regularly that it’s your child’s destiny to leave your home, which you may not understand. Whether your child succeeds or fails is not up to you; you don’t even determine whether they succeed or fail.

This world is full of unhappy doctors, lawyers and managers, and there are many happy and satisfied civil servants and janitors.

Professional success is not life success either. Life satisfaction depends on how much your life really is. All these things are obvious, but we too often forget them when we’re in the role of parent.