Back When Manners Mattered—Ridiculous 13 Etiquette Rules Boomers Had to Follow as Teens

During the heyday of baby boomers, etiquette was not just a matter of politeness but a rigid framework that dictated every social interaction. These rules, both bizarre and strict, were a reflection of a society deeply rooted in formality.

As teenagers, boomers had to navigate a landscape of unwritten codes that covered everything from dining manners to social gatherings. While some of these rules were meant to instill a sense of respect and decorum, others now seem utterly ridiculous by today’s standards. Here are 13 of the most random and bizarre etiquette rules that shaped the boomer experience.

1. Proper Hat Etiquette

In the 1960s, hats were not just accessories but symbols of respect. Teenage boys were expected to remove their fedoras upon entering any indoor space. Failing to do so was considered a major faux pas. This rule extended beyond just homes to public spaces like restaurants and theaters. The act of tipping the hat was also a sign of acknowledgment and respect, especially towards elders and women. Those who adhered strictly believed it was a mark of a well-mannered individual. While some saw it as a simple gesture, others found the constant on-and-off nuisance.

2. Formal Greetings

Boomer teens had to master the art of formal greetings. Girls were taught to curtsy gracefully, an art that required practice to avoid awkward stumbles. Boys, on the other hand, were expected to give a firm handshake, demonstrating their gentlemanly qualities. This practice was not just reserved for formal occasions but also applied to meeting elders even casually. These greetings were not merely gestures but tests of character and upbringing. A proper greeting left a lasting impression, while a slip could lead to whispers about poor upbringing. Despite its rigidity, some saw it as a way to showcase personal charm.

3. Dining Protocols

Dining with boomers was a formal affair. Teens learned an array of protocols, from the correct use of knife and fork to the art of chewing quietly. Crossing utensils was a silent signal that one was finished, while leaving them askew suggested a lack of table finesse. Elbows on the table were a grave offense, showcasing poor upbringing. Grace and poise during meals were indicators of refinement. For many, these rules represented more than manners; they were seen as essential life skills. While some embraced dining protocols with enthusiasm, others found the rigidity rather stifling.

4. Thank-You Note Ritual

Thank-you notes were a sacred ritual. Boomers learned early on the art of expressing gratitude through handwritten notes. After every gift received or event attended, a note was expected. This practice ingrained a sense of appreciation and acknowledgment. Parents monitored this etiquette closely, ensuring each note was personalized and heartfelt. It was a way to maintain social bonds and demonstrate gratitude. While the practice fostered genuine connections, it also felt like an overwhelming obligation for some teens. Despite its perceived burdensomeness, the thank-you note remains a hallmark of thoughtful communication.

5. Telephonic Formality

The telephone was a tool for formal communication, and teenagers were taught to treat it as such. Answering the phone required a polite and clear greeting, often with a family name included. Conversations were expected to be concise yet courteous. Slang and casual language were frowned upon, replaced by formal speech even among friends. Ending the call with proper goodbyes was a must. This formality extended to making calls, where introductions were as important as the message. While some embraced the charm of telephonic formalities, others found it restrictive. However, it undeniably taught a generation the power of words.

6. Party Etiquette for Teens

Teen parties weren’t just about fun and games; they were venues for practicing social etiquette. Formal attire was often required, and structured dances were the norm. Boys and girls engaged in polite conversation, often overseen by chaperones. Arrival and departure times were strict, with punctuality being a sign of respect. Proper thanks to hosts upon leaving was a must, either verbally or through a follow-up note. These parties, though seemingly restrictive, were avenues for social learning and building friendships. While some thrived in these settings, others quietly rebelled against the confines of such formalities.

7. Wardrobe Regulations

Boomer teens faced strict wardrobe regulations. Clothing choices were not merely personal but reflections of family values. Boys were often seen in suits or neatly pressed shirts, while girls wore dresses or skirts of modest length. Bright colors and loud patterns were discouraged, promoting an image of conservatism. School dress codes were enforced, with violations leading to reprimands. This adherence to wardrobe rules was seen as a mark of discipline and respectability. For some teens, fashion was a form of expression, leading to a quiet rebellion against the norm. Despite the constraints, these regulations shaped the boomer era’s aesthetic.

8. Dance Decorum

In the boomer era, dance decorum was paramount. Teens had to master formal dance steps, often attending lessons to perfect their skills. Maintaining a respectful distance from dance partners was crucial, reflecting the conservative nature of the times. Touch was minimal, and overt displays of affection were discouraged. Parents and teachers often supervised dance events, ensuring adherence to these unwritten rules. While some saw this as an opportunity to learn and socialize, others viewed it as an unnecessary constraint. Despite varied opinions, dance decorum was an integral part of social life, teaching teens grace and discipline.

9. Gift-Giving Guidelines

Gift-giving came with its own set of guidelines. Boomers were taught the importance of selecting thoughtful yet modest gifts, reflecting the giver’s taste and consideration. Extravagance was frowned upon, as was giving overly personal items. Presentation mattered, with careful wrapping and handwritten tags being essential. The act of giving was seen as a reflection of character and upbringing, with thank-you notes following the exchange. For some teens, these guidelines fostered a sense of thoughtfulness and generosity. Others found them limiting, preferring spontaneity over rules. Nonetheless, these guidelines highlighted the importance of giving and receiving with grace.

10. Social Media of the Past

Before social media, letter writing was the way to connect. Boomers penned letters as a form of personal and social communication. Teens wrote to friends, documenting their days and sharing thoughts. The process was slow, requiring patience and thoughtfulness. Stationery choices and handwriting style were reflections of personality. Corrections were impossible, demanding care with each word. While some embraced this slow pace, enjoying the anticipation of replies, others found it cumbersome. Yet, letter writing taught a generation the value of words and the personal touch of handwritten communication, long before digital messages became the norm.

11. Chaperoned Outings

Chaperoned outings were a staple in boomer teen life. Dates and group outings were often accompanied by parents or other adults, ensuring propriety was maintained. While these chaperones often kept a discreet distance, their presence was a constant reminder of expected behavior. Teens were taught the importance of respect and boundaries during such outings. For some, it provided a sense of security and guidance. For others, it felt like an invasion of privacy and independence. Regardless of perspective, these outings were a rite of passage, blending social interaction with a touch of supervision.

12. Holiday Card Traditions

Holiday cards were more than just seasonal greetings; they were a vital social duty. Boomers sent cards to family and friends, often including personalized messages. This tradition required planning and effort, from selecting the right card to crafting thoughtful notes. Teens took part in this annual ritual, learning the importance of maintaining connections. While some enjoyed the creative process, others found it a repetitive chore. Despite differing views, sending holiday cards was a cherished tradition, reflecting care and thoughtfulness. It was a way to reach out and stay connected, weaving a tapestry of seasonal goodwill.

13. Respect for Elders

Respecting elders was a cornerstone of boomer etiquette. Teens were taught to offer seats, open doors, and address elders with proper titles. This respect extended to conversations, where listening and valuing elders’ opinions was paramount. It was a way to demonstrate courtesy and acknowledgment of wisdom. While some teens embraced these gestures as signs of character strength, others saw them as outdated. Nonetheless, respect for elders was deeply ingrained, shaping interactions across generations. This etiquette rule, though sometimes seen as archaic, highlighted the timeless value of respect and the importance of honoring those who came before.