Escaping abusive relationship is very difficult, but people who haven’t experienced that kind of relationship don’t know what it’s like to be in one.
They don’t know how easy it is to get involved with an abuser, and how hard it is to escape from that person.
Every story of abuse is different and every person chooses a different path. It’s important to inform yourself about these cases, and it’s important to acknowledge that people are experiencing abuse every day.
We have to be aware of it, and we have to do everything in our power to support victims of abuse.
Escaping Abusive Relationship – One Woman’s Story
I’ve mentioned that every story is different, and every story is inspiring. Escaping abusive relationships I very difficult, and there are a number of reasons for that.
First of all, most victims are scared and manipulated. They’re not confident and they’re not even sure what’s happening to them.
Abigail is a woman from Pierce County, Tacoma, Washington. She is a victim of domestic violence and she escaped from her abuser. This is her story.
Feeling Helpless
Abigail met her abusive partner and thought that he was the perfect man. He was respected in their community, people knew him, and he was amazing with her.
He was charming and smart, and he made her feel safe. But, he only wanted to win her over before he showed his real side.
They dated for two years before they got married. During their relationship, there were some signs that something was off, but she didn’t pay attention to them.
She loved him and he was the perfect guy to start a family with. He was marriage material and she wanted to be with him.
After they got married, she noticed some of the first serious signs. He always lied about small things, but he had the best excuses.
He made her feel like it was her fault that he lied about something. Besides his mistakes that were always well-explained, he was a great manipulator.
He didn’t forbid her to work in the beginning. He acted like he wanted to take care of her. He told her that he made enough money and she could stay at home.
She stayed at home, and it became worse. He wouldn’t let her see her family or friends. He would tell them that she is not well and that she needs medications.
Her loved ones knew what he was doing, but they couldn’t do much. Abigail felt trapped and she felt that things were wrong, but she thought that it was just a phase.
After she gave birth to their child, things became worse. He started to abuse her physically. He would insult her and threaten her. She was scared that he would take away her baby.
She started to think about reporting him. But, she was afraid that he would pull some string and blame it on her. He had a lot of friends who could pull some strings too.
So, she lived her life not knowing what would happen. She was scared and he was awful to her.
Eventually, she realized that she had to do something. She talked to some people, and one of her friends recommended Crystal Judson Family Justice Center.
This center helped her to deal with the emotional and legal process of dealing with the abuser.
Abigail made a lot of reports to the police because her advocate advised her to do so. She didn’t use her cell phone. She used a pay phone. It’s important that the police have a paper trail of reports.
She was patient, and she needed a lot of time to deal with everything. When her child wasn’t a minor anymore, she decided it was time to go. She waited for so long because she was scared. She didn’t want to admit to herself that she was a victim.
When she asked for help, she still needed a lot of time to be brave. She didn’t know how things would turn out. She was scared for herself and her child.
Luckily, she got out. Her abuser got a restraining order right away because she reported him so many times.
She had a bag packed for a long time, but she didn’t care about her things at all. Since her child wasn’t a minor, she was at the bottom of the list for housing, but luckily her loved ones took her in.
When she asked for help and when she started her recovery journey, she learned a lot about domestic violence.
She says that she had no idea what abuse was. She was like most people – violence was only if someone was physically hurting you.
But, she learned that violence has so many different sides and stories. She is happy that she got away, but she would like to help others to escape as soon as possible.
Crystal Judson Family Justice Center
This family justice center was named after a woman named Crystal who was murdered by her husband David Brame, in 2003.
David was a Chief of Police in Tacoma. After he killed his wife in Gig Harbor, he killed himself. Crystal was abused by her husband who was supposed to be a great role model for everyone else. She was a victim of the abuse, and her story devastated a lot of people.
Crystal Judson Family Justice Center was opened in 2005, and many people’s lives were changed with the help of it. They have so many people who will help you.
If you or someone you know is experiencing domestic abuse, the Crystal Judson Family Justice Center is here to help. You’ll find all the professional support and resources you need under one roof.
Professionals from a wide variety of social service and government agencies have joined together to work at the Center to offer help and support to clients as they determine their next steps. – Crystal Judson Family Justice Center
The National Domestic Violence Hotline is also helpful if you need help for making an escape or safety plan. Call + 1 800 799 7233
How To Decide If A Relationship Is Abusive?
When your partner is not hitting or slapping you, it can be difficult to know what abuse is.
In most cases, the abusers are very charming and persuasive. They’re great manipulators, and it’s hard to admit that they’re doing something wrong.
If a victim is naïve and weak, it’s even harder to see what’s going on. Besides physical abuse, it’s important to see some other red flags.
- If someone is verbally attacking you, calling you names, or humiliating you – that is abuse.
- If someone is controlling your finances, career, and social life – that is abuse.
- If someone is limiting your freedom – that is abuse.
- If someone is threatening you or blackmailing you – that is abuse.
- If someone is manipulating you in any way – that’s abuse.
- If someone is gaslighting you – that is abuse.
- If someone is lying to you – that is abuse.
- If someone is forcing you to have sexual intercourse or any sort of physical contact – that is abuse.
As you can see, so many things are abuse. It’s normal to have some arguments with your partner, but it’s possible to talk about it without any incidents.
When you meet someone, it’s important to take it easy. Falling in love can’t be controlled, but you have to be careful.
Sometimes it takes years to see someone’s abusive side. It’s important to leave as soon as possible.
Abigail regrets that she waited for so long to ask for help and leave. Lift is a gift and it’s important to cherish.
Every person deserves happiness and peace. Every person has to get away from people who are destroying their life.
Don’t be with someone who makes you feel uncomfortable in any way. Don’t be with someone who is abusing you in any way. There is always a way to get out of the situation. There is always a way to save yourself.
Shame And Fear
Many women escaped their abusive relationships, but many women are still living with their abusers. They’re being abused all the time, and they don’t know what to do about it.
Many victims are afraid to leave because they’re scared for their lives. Many abusers will try to follow their victim and abuse her again. If a woman has kids, it’s even harder.
The abuser won’t miss a chance to use her kids against her. Therefore, it’s perfectly normal for these women to be afraid. That’s why it’s important to ask for help and protection.
On the other hand, there are many women who are being abused, but they’re not afraid to do something about it. They’re ashamed.
Many women are raised to think that a woman has to save her marriage. Many women believe that a woman has to please her man and tolerate him.
They’re ashamed to ask for a divorce or to report the abuse. They’re ashamed to be single mothers. They’re ashamed to ask a friend or a family member for help, money, or a place to stay.
Fear and shame are complex emotions, but some things matter more. Escaping an abusive relationship is hard, and it’s normal to deal with these emotions.
It’s normal to feel that something awful will happen or that someone will judge you. But, it’s important to prioritize the right things. Having a good, carefree life is priceless. Feeling peaceful and safe is stronger than being scared or ashamed.
All these negative emotions and all that doubt will go away. It’s important to believe in a positive outcome, and it’s important to respect yourself.
It’s important to create a good escape plan when you want to leave abusive relationship. A good escape and safety plan will help you stay safe. You will protect yourself and your mental health that way.
Make sure to find a safe place to escape. Don’t hesitate to call a domestic violence hotline or domestic violence shelters. You will get through this a lot easier if you ask for support.
Domestic Violence Support Groups
Domestic violence support groups are very useful even after you leave an abusive partner. It’s important to learn how to cope with everything and how to stay sane.
Leaving abusive relationship requires strength during and after the whole process. You have to protect your mental health by taking the right steps.
In Conclusion
Escaping abusive relationship is not easy at all, especially when you’re scared for your life or your children. However, many women, including Abigail from the story, realized that life is too short to put up with the abuse.
Life is too short to allow someone to be treated badly. Relationships can be wonderful, but if we choose a bad partner, they can be like hell.
This story should inspire you to report abuse and protect yourself from it. Don’t be afraid to stand up for yourself, but don’t be afraid to stand up for someone else either.
The victims need more support and they need people who will help them find peace. Leaving abusive relationship takes a lot of determination and courage.
Source – Gig Harbor Now, National Domestic Violence Hotline, Crystal Judson Family Justice Center.
Hi all, I am Sidney, an accountant, a hobbyist photographer, and a mother to two sweet girls who are my motivation. I love sharing the tips and tricks I gained all these years I’ve been a mother. I hope it will help you!