The birth of a first child brings with it a host of changes and new demands.
Mothers and fathers also have to get used to their new roles.
As parents-to-be, you’ve probably already imagined life as a family and planned your daily routine with a child.
For example, who will primarily look after the child at home, and who will continue to work.
And then, suddenly, it all becomes reality.
And it’s understandable that the feeling of joy and happiness mixes with uncertainty and worry about doing everything right.
Parents don’t have to be perfect!
Many new things will happen to you after birth.
Your baby will initially be a “day and night job” in which you, as parents, will sometimes reach your limits and will certainly make mistakes.
Especially in the early days, it’s not always easy to understand your baby and respond to his or her needs.
But that’s not the only learning process.
You, too, must find your way in your roles as parents.
So it’s reassuring to know that children don’t want or need perfect parents, but parents who care for them reliably and on whom they can depend.
No matter how you cope with changes and new demands – if you’re doing well as a parent, the child is usually doing well too.
At first, you’ll need help!
The first few weeks with the baby are a particular challenge for nerves and energy.
There’s still a lot to do in everyday life.
Perhaps sleepless nights will soon exhaust your strength.
The first thing you have to do in the new daily life with, of course, your partner is to bathe, change, care for, soothe and comfort the baby, play with him and put him to sleep in his own bed.
Today, spouses often take their first leave after childbirth, and more and more are considering parental leave, although this is usually of short duration.
In the first twelve weeks after birth and beyond, people with statutory health insurance can also seek help from a midwife for post-partum care.
For example, she can advise on breastfeeding and baby care issues, and help you get used to the baby.
Parents need to think about themselves too…
As a mother or father, you also need time for yourselves and for each other as a couple.
This applies all the more if the child has a chronic illness or disability, and often requires a great deal of time and attention.
As parents, talk about your new role and what you expect from each other.
For example, how “tidy” the house needs to be, and try to divide the household chores between you.
Don’t put pressure on yourself!
When it comes to housework, things can sometimes take a back seat.
If possible, take turns looking after your child.
Ask relatives or good friends if they can look after the child for a few hours.
Talk to other parents.
If your child has a disability, talking to other parents in a similar situation is particularly important and useful.
As the parents of a child with a disability, make use of the care and support provided by hourly or daily family support services.
Fathers need to get involved!
Even today, the division of roles is generally such that the father stays at work while the mother looks after the baby at home for the first time.
But more and more fathers want to see their children grow up, play a greater part in their development and maintain a close relationship with them.
The father is also an important reference person for the child.
He needs the attention and affection of his father, as well as that of his mother.
And from the very first days, the baby senses and responds to the different way the father talks to him, holds him, changes his diaper and plays with him.
The different types of father and mother diversify the child’s experiences and provide an important impetus for development.
When it comes to play, fathers are often open to special play adventures.
For example, they imagine more active games that promote physical dexterity and resilience.
Whereas mothers more often use toys and support their child’s language skills through play.
But it’s precisely the different ways in which fathers and mothers play that makes play with both so interesting and important for the child.
When daily life and childcare become a permanent burden!
Some parents have trouble getting to know their child and developing a relationship.
They have trouble responding to their child, and have difficulty communicating and coordinating with them.
In short, they don’t understand their child’s signals and impulses, or can’t intuitively respond to them correctly.
This can be caused by stress, depressive moods, family worries and problems, or negative experiences in their own childhood.
Some infants may also have a difficult temperament.
They can be particularly restless, crying a lot and thus upsetting parents.
This can make it difficult to handle them sensitively.
If you feel that the new daily life with a child simply doesn’t want to settle in, or that caring for the child is becoming increasingly stressful and burdensome, get help in time!
In all communities, there is now so-called early help, which supports and assists parents in particularly stressful situations.
These include, for example, family midwives who can accompany parents in the care, development and support of their child during the first year of life.
Local youth or health authorities usually provide information on this subject.
Ask your midwife or pediatrician about counseling services for parents of babies and young children in your area.
Sometimes it’s already helpful and relieving to exchange ideas with other parents, or to ask friends and relatives for occasional help and support.
When the mother or father looks after the child alone :
If you, as a mother or father, have to look after a child alone, this entails a particular burden.
You have to be mother and father in one, so to speak.
And you’re alone with your child in everyday life.
Especially in the first few weeks of a child’s life, which are usually particularly exhausting, single parents can easily reach their limits.
Often, there are also financial problems, the issue of childcare at work and much more.
The situation of single parents is associated with very different circumstances, issues and problems.
If you’re a single parent and you realize that the situation is beyond you, get help in time.
Your parents, siblings or good friends may also be willing to support you in daily life and care for your child.
