My son celebrated his fourteenth birthday last month.
I bought him an iPhone, but that’s not all!
Along with the phone, I handed him a contract containing 17 points.
These points described how he was allowed to use his phone.
But that’s not all!
I wrote him a sweet note:
This is my phone, I bought it and paid for it.
For your birthday, you’re in luck! In fact, I’ve decided to lend it to you.
Aren’t I the best mom in the world?
I spent a lot of time debating whether or not to buy her an iPhone.
Honestly, I wasn’t a fan of the idea.
I think he’s young and irresponsible.
The problem is that all his friends have already had phones for a long time.
So I was torn between the idea of protecting him and allowing him to live a carefree adolescence and the fact that I didn’t want him to be excluded from his group of friends or feel stigmatized for being the only one without a phone.
Then I came up with a solution!
When you hand your teenager an iPhone, a lot of questions come to mind:
- Will he sell it to make money?
- Will he get hooked?
- Will he share every second of his life on social networks?
- Will he lose touch with reality?
- Will he be taken in by ill-intentioned people?
What are the key points of my contract?
The contract begins with a warning:
You are now the proud owner of this iPhone.
You’re a serious and responsible 14-year-old, so you deserve this gift.
However, there are certain rules and obligations that come with it.
Please read the contract below.
I hope you will understand that it is my duty to educate you to be a healthy young man who can function in the world and live with technology without being governed by it.
If you don’t respect the points of this contract, you can no longer be the owner of this iPhone.
I love you more than anything! And I look forward to our exchange of millions of messages in the future.
I hope you’ll agree to these points in the contract.
Kisses, darling mom
1. As the legal owner of this iPhone, I am obliged to always know the password.
2. If the phone rings, answer it. Say hello and be polite. Ignoring a call from mom or dad is strictly forbidden.
3. Every school day, you must give the phone to your father or mother at 8:00 p.m. sharp. On weekend evenings, you’ll be able to keep it for an extra hour, so you’ll give it to us at 9.00 pm.
If you don’t think it’s a good time to call your friends on the landline, because you don’t want their parents to answer, then it’s probably not a good time to call on the cell phone either.
You need to respect other families as you respect ours.
4. When you’re at school, your phone stays at home. You need to interact with people face-to-face, as this is an extremely important social skill.
Field trips, shortened school days and extracurricular activities will require special arrangements.
5. If it falls into the toilet bowl, breaks on the floor or simply disappears, you are responsible for the cost of repairs.
You’ll mow the grass in the yard, take care of the kids and save your birthday money.
Something like this can happen, but you have to fix your mistake.
6. Don’t use technology to lie, deceive or manipulate another person. Don’t engage in conversations that might offend others.
Above all, be a good friend and avoid conflict.
7. Don’t say anything in a message, e-mail or conversation that you wouldn’t say to your face.
8. For that matter, don’t write or say anything on the phone that you wouldn’t want your caller’s parents to hear. In short, learn self-censorship!
9. No pornography!
You can search the Internet for information that you can share openly with me. If you’re really interested in something, ask someone, preferably me or your dad.
Also read: Adolescence: how can you help your child develop a social life?
10. In public, your phone should be on silent mode. Or better still, don’t use it at all!
Especially in restaurants, at the cinema or when talking to someone.
You’re not a rude person, don’t let the iPhone change that.
11. Don’t send or receive photos of private parts (yours or other people’s).
I know this may seem like a ridiculous reminder.
But sometimes you’ll be tempted to do it, no matter how smart you are.
It’s risky and it could ruin your life as a teenager/student/adult.
It’s always a bad idea. Cyberspace is huge and more powerful than you.
Just as it’s hard to repair a bad reputation, it’s also hard to erase something like this.
12. You don’t have to document your whole life.
Don’t take countless photos or videos.
Live the events, and they’ll stay with you forever.
13. You need to be able to leave your phone sometimes without feeling stressed.
Indeed, sometimes you’re going to have to leave it at home, and you need to learn to feel good about that decision.
It’s not alive and it’s not your extension.
Learn to live without it.
Be stronger than the feeling that you’re missing something.
14. Be original!
Download new or classic music that’s different from what millions of others are listening to.
Your generation has access to an enormous amount of music like never before in history.
Use this gift. Expand your horizons.
15. Play a word game or a puzzle sometimes.
16. Open your eyes.
See what’s going on in the world around you.
Look out the window.
Listen to the birds.
Take a walk.
Talk to a stranger.
Get information without Googling.
17. If you don’t follow these rules, I’ll take your phone.
We’ll sit down and talk about it.
We’ll start again.
You and I are always learning.
I’m on your side.
We’re on the same page.
I hope you agree with these terms.
Most lessons are not just about the iPhone, but about life.
You’re growing up in an ever-changing world.
It’s exciting and seductive.
Trust your mind and heart, before you trust your phone.
I love you!