How do you think men feel about becoming fathers?
Pregnancy, childbirth and parenthood are joyful times for both parents.
But that’s not all!
They’re also stressful times.
After all, big changes are happening in the family.
But women and men have different views on this.
Women are said to have an innate maternal instinct.
But what about men?
The good news first: no man is born the ideal dad.
He’s not even born a father!
How logical.
Over time, we all learn to take care of ourselves, and then our children.
So being a father doesn’t mean being perfect!
But as parents, you can be yourself and always give your best.
The children will do the rest.
As long as you’re physically healthy and have the right partner by your side, becoming a father isn’t difficult.
As soon as the positive pregnancy test is in, you can look forward to the next addition to your family.
As soon as you become a father, a veritable merry-go-round of emotions is automatically set in motion.
A thousand questions come to mind, and over each of them hovers the biggest question of all: what does it mean to be a father?
Especially with your first child, you may feel insecure or even afraid in this context.
This is normal, as you’re now facing a completely new life situation!
At the same time, you can rest assured that the way you shape your child will change you too.
It’s a process for both sides.
Pregnancy from the father’s point of view
Since you and your partner are expecting a child together, and will be taking on parental love and upbringing together, preparation is of course also a project for both of you.
Share your anticipation, questions and uncertainties with each other.
Some mothers and fathers believe that they shouldn’t come out openly if they have doubts with the child’s anticipation.
Otherwise, the other person might think that you yourself want to denigrate the child or even the relationship.
However, this is not the right way, as normally both feel insecurities.
It’s much better for your love and the task of parenting together if you talk openly and calmly about emotions, research questions and create a preparation list.
The basics look like this:
- Check-up appointment with gynecologist
- Consideration of childcare (possibly with reservation)
- Research into parental allowance and parental leave
- Research into child support payments
- Organizing a midwife
- Gather name suggestions
- Buy initial equipment (diapers, clothes, crib, stroller, etc.)
Being a father essentially begins with helping to prepare for the arrival of the new addition to your family in this way.
But joint preparation isn’t everything!
It’s in the nature of things that mom-to-be and dad-to-be have different things to deal with.
While it’s laudable that, as a father, you also learn about the background to breastfeeding, etc., the physical aspects of pregnancy and breastfeeding are first and foremost important to the mother.
Being a father means things that have nothing to do with motherhood, such as the question of which male role model you want your child to have.
From the strict father (the classic image of previous generations) to the gentle dad, there are many degrees.
You’ll be your son’s first male role model.
How you model him will have a huge impact on how he defines himself as a man.
You’ll be your daughter’s first groundbreaking contact with the opposite sex.
In this way, you have a significant influence on how she will treat boys as a girl and also how she will choose her partner later on.
You’ve been bombarded with so much information, requests and advice during preparation that you’re now in the throes of self-doubt: will you be a perfect father?
Don’t panic because no father is perfect.
Many men destroy themselves with unrealistic demands on themselves, being a worker, spouse and father can even lead them to burnout.
You’d do better to realize that nobody is perfect, and they don’t have to be!
You’ll soon realize that being a father also means gaining experience in the day-to-day care of your child and learning from your mistakes.
Show your child that you love him/her, and allow the two of you to grow together on a task.
Tips for future dads
At the start of your journey as a dad, you’ll be given a practical overview of the period ahead.
There are a few things that advisors rarely mention, but almost every man who has the privilege of being a father knows:
1. Birth preparation classes are a good thing, and it makes perfect sense for your sense of family as a couple and future parents if you accompany your partner.
However, later experience in the delivery room will show you and your partner that theory and practice are two different things.
2. Adjust emotionally to the fact that you will no longer be the most important person in your partner’s life.
Motherly love is the strongest love in the world.
But you too will experience that your love for the child will change you forever.
3. The life patterns of your childless friends are fundamentally different, so you’ll spend less time together in the future.
4. As soon as your child becomes a little more independent, nothing is safe within your four walls.
The décor of your home will look more like a house of horrors!
5. The child sets the daily rhythm, and that includes little sleep at night.
Five hours or more becomes pure luxury.
Fortunately, grandparents are often happy to help.