As parents, we tend to think we know everything.
Spoiler alert: we don’t!
We think our children aren’t mature enough to make decisions.
What’s more, it’s easier for us to create a routine, make decisions and then impose them on our children.
That way, we don’t waste time or feel obliged to give lengthy explanations.
Of course, this doesn’t come from a dictatorial mindset.
We’re simply trying to simplify our lives and protect our children.
Since we don’t consider them capable of making decisions, we justify our behavior by saying that we want what’s best for them.
However, our decision-making for children doesn’t empower them or prepare them for adulthood.
You may not realize it, but the power of a small choice can have a very big impact.
That choice can be something simple, like:
- Do you want to eat yogurt or cheese?
- What do you want to wear to school today?
- Do you want blue or green sheets on your bed?
The key is to give children choices to empower them and at the same time reduce the impact on your routine.
By the way, if you give your children these little choices, they’ll feel they’re bigger and wiser.
And they’ll feel in control of part of their lives.
Which leaves you free for the big decisions.
By the way, here’s why it’s so important to let your kids have some choices:
1. Your child needs to learn responsibility
Life is defined by the choices we make, and it’s important that we equip children in a way that teaches them decision-making skills from an early age.
By creating small choices as part of the daily routine, we teach children to actively participate in the decision-making process and enable them to learn to manage decisions, as well as the consequences.
Later, your children won’t blame others.
They won’t develop complexes or shame.
On the contrary, they’ll learn to pick themselves up after a fall and to trust themselves.
2. Cultivating a sense of worth is imperative
In my opinion, one of the most important and often overlooked aspects of parenting is giving a child a sense of worth.
Children are often more creative and observant than adults.
A child’s choice has the same value as an adult’s, and parents need to let their children know that they recognize and accept the value that children bring to the family.
Acknowledging small decisions is a simple way of empowering children and affirming their value.
What’s more, they’ll feel like full members of the family.
They won’t feel that everything revolves around them and that adults are superior.
3. Your child will have fewer tantrums
Tantrums are often caused by a lack of control.
It’s every human being’s natural desire to feel in control.
As adults, we often forget that even children sometimes need to feel in control.
Tantrums don’t happen for ridiculous reasons, such as because the child is sitting next to Daddy instead of Mommy.
It’s important to let the child feel in control as much as possible to avoid tantrums.
You need to stay in control, but you also need to give your children a sense of power.
Besides, you have power when your child feels power.
Opt for age-appropriate communication.
4. Build your child’s self-confidence
Decision-making is an important part of building self-confidence.
When your child makes a decision and that decision goes well, the child will feel proud.
Then, it will help to continue developing positive decision-making throughout childhood and adulthood.
For example, if you let your daughter choose her outfit for kindergarten and she got a compliment, she’ll feel particularly good about it.
If you let your son choose a new snack and he found it excellent, he’ll understand that he’s capable of deciding.
In short, little by little, these little decisions become bigger decisions.
And it’s a feeling of confidence that your children will carry into adulthood.
Which means they won’t rely on the opinions of others, and they’ll doubt their own abilities less.
5. Do your best to stimulate your child’s creativity
When we make every decision for a child, we don’t give them the opportunity to use their creativity and develop abstract thinking.
Let’s face it, we adults are often rigid and not as creative as our children.
We should be encouraging their creative thinking instead of stifling it with our authority.
Like me, you’ve probably done the bus test with your children.
It’s a picture and the children have to figure out which direction the bus is going.
Kids guess in seconds, while adults literally get their heads around it.
Well, it’s a perfect example of how children’s minds work more simply, but more effectively, than adults’.
Remember, our job is to turn children into empathetic, responsible and strong adults.
The best way to do this is to give children the space to express their creativity, develop self-confidence and feel in control of their bodies from an early age.
Small decisions can mean a lot, even if they’re not always the right ones!