When you see a child at the park jumping around, you think his parents must really have their hands full.
When you see a child screaming in a restaurant, you think it can’t be easy being with them every day.
And you’d be right!
Raising a restless child is far from easy.
Such a child requires a great deal of patience, self-control and calm.
Some parents complain about their disobedient child.
For them, it can sometimes seem impossible to control them.
In fact, my husband always says that it’s a gift from the Universe to teach us the true meaning of parenthood.
Indeed, our first two children are angels.
They never cried too much, they slept through the night fairly quickly and they’re cooperative.
In fact, their calm nature gave us a wonderful parenting experience the first two times.
Then our third arrived!
A real tornado!
Between sleepless nights and screaming, we didn’t know where to turn.
When he started walking and talking, his true nature took over.
He’s constantly running, jumping on everything in sight, teasing his brother and sister and talking without ever shutting up.
Mother Nature had us fooled!
In the end, we didn’t really discover true parenthood until we had our third child.
So if you have a calm, cooperative child, don’t say you’ve mastered parenting.
Otherwise, Mother Nature will play a trick on you.
My three children have three different characters.
I consider this a blessing, because there’s never a dull moment.
But it’s exhausting, as Mark Twain pointed out:
My mother had a lot of problems with me.
But I think she enjoyed them.
It’s always like that with “impossible” kids.
They drive you crazy!
Besides, you’re not always proud of your behavior with this child.
You shout a little more than you’d like.
You lose patience and wonder what you did to the Universe to deserve such a problematic child.
Then you regret your behavior and your negative thoughts.
You feel terrible!
And in the evening, when everyone else is asleep, you find yourself with your glass of wine in hand in complete silence, thinking about it all.
You adore all your children!
You’re grateful to have them, even the one who drives you crazy.
So you learn to forgive yourself.
And that’s how you grow.
I deeply believe that calm, cooperative children don’t force their parents to grow up as much.
Only “impossible” children, those who make you lose your head, allow you to evolve.
You have to adapt, and you have to forget everything you’ve learned about parenting from books or blogs.
Throughout the process of raising an “impossible” child, you change.
And at the end of the day, when you’re low on energy and your child brings you a little bouquet of flowers from the garden, you smile again.
He tells you he loves you or asks you for a hug.
Despite what you may think, your child isn’t trying to drive you crazy on purpose.
He’s not trying to ruin your life.
And he senses when he’s crossed the line.
So he approaches you and asks for affection as if to ask forgiveness.
As if to say “I know I’ve gone too far and I’m sorry”.
And then everything is suddenly forgotten.
Like me, you’ll learn to forgive yourself.
You’ll forgive yourself for not always measuring up.
You’ll forgive yourself for shouting, even if you hate it.
Have you been rude to him?
You’ll forgive yourself for that too!
Frustration is normal!
When there’s constant shouting or hitting going on around you, you can’t remain stoic.
You’ll even cry from time to time.
And that’s normal!
Forget the idea of perfect parenting!
There are no perfect parents and there are no perfect children.
What you see on Instagram is not reality.
So don’t compare yourself to other parents.
With my super restless son, I’ve always had my doubts.
Is he hyperactive?
Does he have a mental problem?
Today, I laugh when I think of all the things that went through my head.
But at the time, I guarantee you I wasn’t in the mood to laugh – I was extremely worried!
Finally, when I spoke to the kindergarten teachers, they raised their eyebrows.
Yes, your son is full of energy.
But he’s also super smart and athletic.
At school, he listens and we don’t have any problems with him.
At home, he’s wilder, because he feels safe with you.
I have to admit, it was reassuring, but at the same time, it didn’t make my situation any easier.
I had to face up to the fact that this child was going to require more effort and patience on my part.
Of course, I’m aware that he won’t always be like this.
But the road to calm is going to be a long one.
But thanks to my child, I’ve learned a lot about myself.
I’ve also learned to prioritize.
Instead of worrying about the state of my house, I’m grateful to have time to talk and play with my children.
I’ve grown and so will you.
And I’m sure you’ll be proud of the parents you’ve become.