How do you convince your child that he’s always right?
By always being on his side! When his teacher tells him he’s made a mistake, you defend him. When the neighbor complains about the damage he’s done to his window, you defend him. And when your friends say he’s rude, you defend him again.
Again and again, you stand by your child, no matter how bad his behavior is. Even if he steps on your toes and everyone tries to warn you, before it’s too late.
In fact, you don’t even understand why everyone says bad things about your child. In your mind, he’s perfect. Sure, he makes mistakes, but no more than any other child. So what’s the harm?
The harm lies in the fact that you justify all your child’s behavior. Even aggressive, toxic or dangerous behavior. You’re blind to the mistakes you’ve made in his upbringing.
And you’re not done yet. In fact, if you continue down this path, you’ll completely ruin and rot your child. You’ll lose total control, but you’ll only have yourself to blame.
Ruining your child’s education is super simple. In fact, here’s how to do it:
1. Defend your child, no matter what
Has he punched his classmate in the face? He probably had it coming! Did he tell your mother she was stupid and old? Oh yes, but it’s true at the same time! You justify all your child’s behavior.
Yet you can see that other kids don’t behave like that. And you know it’s not healthy. But he’s your little one and you can’t help it. It’s going to be a real headache when you realize that your child is an aggressive, isolated adult because of your educational model.
2. Take responsibility
Whatever he does, it’s not his fault. You’re absolving him of his responsibilities and taking responsibility for them. For example, if your child breaks your partner’s cell phone, you say something like, “It’s not his fault, I gave it to him and wasn’t careful”.
Or worse, you lie outright for him. “I’m the one who made the hole in the door when I fell,” when it was your child who kicked it. You may think you’re protecting him or her, but you’re actually creating an adult impervious to empathy.
3. Ignoring morality
When you don’t explain to your child the meaning of his duties and obligations to society, you’re not instilling in him a sense of morality. So he doesn’t know what’s right and what’s wrong.
Yet if you want your man to become a good person, you have to explain to him the difference between right and wrong. It’s the only way to get him to make decisions for his own good and for the good of others.
It’s what keeps you from turning him into a narcissistic man.
4. Do everything for him
“No, darling… Go and play… I’ll clear the table.”
Your child has no obligations and doesn’t help around the house. He’s used to you doing everything for him. When he becomes an adult, he’ll be completely selfish. In fact, he’ll expect others to do everything for him.
His partner, for example, will be more like his handyman. He won’t find his place in the world of work, because he won’t have any professional value, and he won’t know how important it is to have skills.
5. Laugh at the insults he utters
Granted, when a child says an insult, it’s funny. He has no idea what it means, but he repeats what he’s heard. Yet laughing when your child says bad words is an encouragement.
You’re telling him that there’s nothing wrong with it and that it’s not hurtful. In short, your child doesn’t respect you, doesn’t respect others and doesn’t give a damn about boundaries. Everyone is supposed to adapt to him, not the other way around.
6. Meeting his every demand
By catering to his every whim, you’re letting him know that everything is his due. The whole world revolves around him and he’s superior to everyone else. If your child has never heard the word “no” or doesn’t know what “Mommy can’t” means, you’ve got a problem on your hands.
All his life, he’ll expect people to give him what he wants. And he’ll get angry when they don’t. Work? No way! My parents work, so I don’t have to earn a living.
7. Eat and drink what he wants
He doesn’t like the dinner you’ve prepared for him? Don’t worry, you’ll make him something else. He doesn’t like water? No problem, a Coca-Cola will do the trick. After all, it’s all the same, isn’t it?
Your child should eat and drink what you offer, without grumbling. In fact, if he doesn’t like dinner, he can fast for a night – it won’t do him any harm. If you give in to his every whim, you’ll be raising a tyrant!
8. Giving pocket money
While it’s okay to give your child pocket money for candy or toys, it’s not okay to meet all his expectations. For example, it’s a mistake to give him money every time he asks for it.
Especially if you don’t keep an eye on how he spends his money. You’re not obliged to give him money, so you don’t have to say “yes” every time he asks for it. It’s not a right he has.
It’s your choice to give him money. So he should be grateful.
If you behave like this, you’re well on your way to ruining your child’s life. Get your act together in time!
Well, hello there!
My name is Jennifer. Besides being an orthodontist, I am a mother to 3 playful boys. In this motherhood journey, I can say I will never know everything. That’s why I always strive to read a lot, and that’s why I started writing about all the smithereens I came across so that you can have everything in one place! Enjoy and stay positive; you’ve got this!