No mother is perfect.
Have you ever wondered if you’re a bad mother?
Even if you are a good mother, comparing yourself to other parents makes you think you’re not the right person to look after children.
One of the hardest things to do is to have a consistent parenting style.
There are cases of bad parenting that can have permanent consequences for children.
Most mothers are guided by their own upbringing, which is not advisable given the development of society and the social environment.
In short, it’s clear that certain parenting practices do more harm than good to your child.
A bad mother is a set of actions that can seriously damage a child’s behavior and psyche.
Being a bad mother is not limited to a single act, it’s a series of acts that generally have a detrimental effect on the child.
Some mothers are unaware of the repercussions of their actions, and some may not even care.
1. Physical and verbal abuse
When a child is subjected to physical or verbal abuse, it can be very detrimental to his or her well-being.
Many parents take out their frustrations on their children without realizing the psychological damage they are causing.
A single beating or insult can affect a child for years.
These forms of abuse can cause a child to lose confidence and develop an inferiority complex.
Verbal and physical abuse can cause lifelong psychological, physical and behavioral problems.
Victims are also likely to experience poor physical and mental health.
2. Authoritarian behavior
The classic behavior of a bad mother can be authoritarianism – that is, when the mother decides that what she wants and how she wants it is the only way to do it.
Authoritarian behavior leads to preferential treatment, neglect, psychological abuse and even physical violence.
It’s the pretty red ribbon that holds it all together, because an authoritarian mother will do anything to make her child behave the way she wants, completely ignoring the fact that the child is a child growing up to make his or her own decisions and follow a path in life that may not always match the mother’s.
3. Lack of support for the child’s goals
A good mother should not only raise her child according to good values, she should also stimulate him and help him achieve his goals.
Remember, he may have different goals from you, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t support him.
4. Passive-aggressive behavior
Passive aggression can be defined as “non-verbal aggression that manifests itself in negative behavior”.
This type of mother will not outwardly show anger or resentment towards the child, but may, for example, deliberately delay a child’s event, be late for an important school appointment or be grumpy with the child without any overt behavior.
This type of mother reacts badly to confrontation and tends to avoid emotional closeness at all costs.
She’s also often a “control freak”.
5. Other people’s opinions are more important than your child’s feelings
It’s essential to know what your child needs at any given moment, not just what other people think.
If your child needs more support in certain areas, that’s perfectly normal, whether society disapproves or not.
Just as every mother is different, every child is different.
Let your maternal instincts guide you, and leave aside what others have to say.
6. The wrong example
There are many parents who do nothing to prevent their children from displaying bad behavior or bad manners, and these types of parents usually turn a blind eye when their children display problematic behavior.
If you’re the one who yells or swears at your kids, it’s only natural that they’ll do the same.
Perhaps that’s why children start smoking, drinking or experimenting with substances at a young age.
7. Rejecting children when they need affection
Children, especially when they’re young or injured, need the comforting arms of a mother.
Don’t reject your child when he or she needs help.
8. Being stingy with time
I understand how difficult it can be for working mothers to look after their children outside their busy schedules, especially when those mothers are single.
But if you focus solely on your child’s job, financial stability, school performance, etc., you’ll get bogged down in worry.
But remember: these are children and they need their mother from time to time, especially to hear your comforting, loving words.
9. The comparison
For example, let’s say your friend’s son is an excellent student, helps around the house and goes to music school.
It’s important to remember that every child is individual, has his or her own personality traits and that comparisons are inappropriate in this case.
The child will think he or she is worse than others, and will have a false sense of self-importance.
10. Constant criticism
Have you heard the expression “Nothing is ever good enough for Mom”?
Such a mother is constantly disapproving and perfectionist, because things rarely seem to meet her high standards.
As a child, you were probably criticized repeatedly and harshly.
Subtler forms of criticism include teasing or seemingly affectionate labeling, such as “that’s our lazy kid” or “he’s a stubborn/mean little guy”.
This toxic mom is also likely to spot flaws in an otherwise perfect situation, and her perfectionism will make you feel that you’re never good enough, no matter what you do.
11. Preference
It can be very damaging for a parent to make it clear that he or she prefers one child to another.
You’d think that the preferred child would get all the positive attention, but that’s not the case.
In fact, whether you’re the preferred child or not, the perception of unequal treatment has a detrimental effect on all siblings.
In many families, boys receive preferential treatment, making girls feel inferior or neglected.
When it comes to education, social opportunities or other needs, girls often have fewer opportunities than boys, and this prejudice usually starts at home.
Many parents are also in the habit of complaining about their children.
They grumble or complain about their child in front of other children instead of communicating and nurturing responsibly.