Why shouldn’t a little girl be too good?
The worst thing we can do for a girl is to teach her to be too obedient and a good girl.
And it’s not about decent behavior, nice manners or responsibility. Goodness is often a habit of directing the evaluations and opinions of others, the fear of insult at any moment, the desire to see the best in every situation.
Being good – pleasant, considerate – is a heavy burden that many can’t shake off for the rest of their lives.
Everyone loves a good girl: kindergarten teachers, parents and so on. You tell a good girl to eat her soup all the way through – she eats it while suffocating so as not to disturb the adults.
And then, as adults, they don’t understand why they’re overweight and in the habit of eating more than their bodies need.
They’re not used to hearing their body’s messages. They don’t know how to hear it, they only hear others.
A good girl doesn’t argue with adults. She doesn’t talk down to them. In fact, she doesn’t talk to them at all. She smiles, accepts and obeys.
And by the time she’s 14 or 15, a grown man starts clinging to her with a smirk, but she’s still silent – she doesn’t have the skill to say no.
She suffers in horror and will endure when she should simply, firmly and strongly say: go away!
A good girl only gets the best grades. A pass is a tragedy for her. Over the years of study, she has become so accustomed to focusing on other people’s assessments that she continues to live normally in nervous anticipation: how do they grade me?
What do they say about me? Do they think I’m good? The girl wants to get a high five from the whole world, just like at school. But the adult world is organized differently, stingy with praise and generous with insults and injuries.
The girl suffers and drinks sedatives, if not something stronger.
To my daughter: don’t apologize for who you are
A good girl tries to be pleasant with others, fine and soft as cotton. She pleases, worries and sacrifices. But these sacrifices are not only unappreciated, they’re also seen as a sign of weakness.
And they are used without hesitation or restraint.
Many good girls, brought up with the ideal of sacrifice, find idle, parasitic, unfaithful husbands. And they, without hesitation, exploit their wives, and even beat them.
Yes, a good girl learns to endure. Not to distract others from their important work “with their little things”. She obediently waits for others’ attention.
She’s so used to enduring that it becomes a different nature, a way of life for her – she finds suffering even where it’s not there.
A good girl doesn’t buy anything for herself for years, even what she needs. She’s used to suffering as a necessity.
Having good children is very pleasant for adults. Good children are like flowers in pots, placed on window sills, pleasing to the eye.
But for life, being good is unfortunately very bad. Once you’re an adult, if you want to survive, you have to get rid of such goodness. And that takes a lot of time and effort.
So it’s best if the girl isn’t so submissive and obedient – she’ll be brave, able to stand up for herself, know her desires, needs and limits. Let her get used to judging herself and not thinking in the eyes of others.
Sweetheart, I don’t need you to be a good girl. All I want is for you to know how to take care of yourself. Your security, happiness and self-esteem are the most important things to me.
Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. Don’t let anyone destroy or disrespect you.
Fight, even if it means being a bad seed. I am and always will be proud of you!