Here Are The 7 Parenting Mistakes That Prevent Your Child From Succeeding

The endless love you feel for your own child is no guarantee against mistakes in upbringing.

Excessive affection and unsolicited help often hinder the development of an independent person.

Indeed, your desire to protect your child and spare him or her any suffering leads you to act excessively.

And “excessive” is a kind word, because what I really mean is “obsessive”.

Your behavior reflects, in fact, your need to control everything.

Even though you keep telling yourself it’s for the good of your child, in reality, it’s for you.

It’s so you’ll worry less.

It’s so you can continue to feel useful.

So, if you want to help your child grow up to be an independent, resourceful and confident person, you need to take a step back.

To be a good parent, you need to avoid the following mistakes.

1. Preventing your child from taking risks

We live in a modern world full of dangers.

As if they were around every corner.

The slogan “safety first” reinforces our fear of losing children and therefore surrounds them with a general preoccupation.

European psychologists have found that, as they grow up, children often suffer from phobias when they don’t play in the street and never fall.

A little scratch or even a broken arm is not the end of the world!

So, like you, he has to fall to understand that it’s not death.

Teenagers have to fight and live through the bitterness of first love in order to acquire the emotional maturity without which a long-term relationship is not possible.

Adults eliminate risk from children’s lives, leading to arrogance and low self-esteem in the future.

2. Offering help too quickly

The current generation of young people has not developed some of the skills inherent in children of 30 years ago.

If we come to the rescue too early and surround children with excessive “care”, we deprive them of the need to find their own way out of difficult situations.

Sooner or later, children get used to the fact that someone will always save them: “If I make a mistake or don’t reach the goal, adults correct and rake up the consequences.”

Although, in reality, the world of adult relationships is completely different.

Your children run the risk of not being fit for adulthood.

3. Admiring children too much

The self-esteem movement began with the baby boomer generation and started gaining ground in schools in the 1980s.

The “every participant gets a medal” rule makes children feel special.

However, studies by modern psychologists show that this method of education has unintended consequences.

After a while, the child realizes that the only people who think he’s wonderful are Mom and Dad, and the others don’t. And then the child starts to feel doubtful.

And then the child begins to doubt his parents’ objectivity.

He is delighted by the praise, but understands that it has nothing to do with reality.

Over time, such a child learns to cheat, exaggerate and lie in order to avoid an unpleasant reality.

Because he’s simply not cut out for difficulties.

4. Letting guilt overshadow good behavior

Your child shouldn’t love you every minute.

He’ll have to overcome many problems in this life, but being coddled can prevent that.

So tell children “No” and “Not now” so they learn to fight for their wants and needs.

When a family has several children, parents usually find it unfair to reward one child and disadvantage the others.

But rewarding everyone is always unrealistic.

By doing so, we miss the opportunity to show children that success depends on our own efforts and good deeds.

Think twice before rewarding children with trips to the mall.

When your relationship is based solely on material incentives, children don’t feel intrinsic motivation or unconditional love.

5. Don’t share past mistakes

There will come a time when a healthy teenager will certainly want to “spread his wings” and follow his own desires.

And the adult has to allow it.

However, this by no means means means that we won’t help children navigate murky waters and unfamiliar events.

Tell your children about the mistakes you made when you were young, but avoid unnecessary moralizing about smoking, alcohol or drugs.

Children need to be willing to face up to problems and be able to respond to the consequences of their decisions.

Tell them how you felt when faced with similar circumstances, what guided your actions and the lessons you learned.

6. Confusing intelligence and talent with maturity

Intelligence is often used as a measure of a child’s maturity.

As a result, parents assume that an intelligent child is ready for the real world.

That’s not how it works.

Some professional athletes and young Hollywood stars, for example, have great talent, but still end up in public scandals.

Don’t assume your child is good at everything.

There’s no magic “age of responsibility” or guide to when it’s time for a child to enjoy some freedom.

But there is a good rule: observe other children of the same age.

If you find that your child’s friends are much more independent, you may be hindering the development of his autonomy.

7. Don’t do yourself what you force your children to do

As parents, we have to shape the life we want for our children.

Now that we are the leaders of our family, we must live the truth in our relationships with others.

Watch how you act and speak, because your children are watching you.

If you don’t break the rules, the kids will know it’s not acceptable for them.

Show children what it means to help others fully and joyfully.

Make people and places better than they were before you, and your children will do the same.