Experienced moms reveal what they wish they’d done differently

I’ve been lucky enough to meet several moms.

All of them have grown-up children.

They’ve left the family nest.

So I asked them what they’d like to say to the mom they were when they had their children.

• What do they regret?
• What would they like to change?

All these women, without exception, said they wished they’d had more time to cuddle or kiss their little ones.

Many believed the legends that if you spend too much time cuddling your children, you’ll end up spoiling them and making them too sensitive.

As a mom, I can confirm this.

When my children were small, I couldn’t wait to see them grow up.

Instead of enjoying every moment, I wanted them to learn how to dress themselves, prepare their own breakfast or make small decisions, without asking me questions every two minutes.

Now that I talk to other moms, I realize I’m not the only one.

We all have regrets.

And here’s what my new friends have to say on different subjects.

Career and family

Sarah, 51, mom of two:

If I could go back in time, I’d get more involved in my children’s education.

I volunteered at school, helped with all the exhibitions and helped organize transport for the children.

I worked so hard that I feel I missed out on growing up with my children and helping them become people.

Pauline, 49, mother of three:

Without a doubt, I can say with 100% certainty that I would work less.

I can’t believe how quickly time has flown.

I’d be more there for my kids and less stressed by work.

In fact, I’d make sure we had a family dinner every night.

I wouldn’t let my work affect my family life so much.

I still work, but my children are no longer under my roof.

Manon, 54, mother of two:

My husband and I argued a lot about money.

We always worried about whether we’d be able to pay the bills, whether we’d have enough for the children’s activities, and whether we’d be able to save for their education.

I wish there had been more peace and love in our home instead of stress and bickering.

In the end, the bills were always paid and our children ended up in excellent universities.

All this stress and worry only created chaos in our family.

The food

Aline, 49, one child:

I wouldn’t worry so much about his tantrums.

Hungry children eat, and no child I’ve ever met has starved to death.

It would have saved me a lot of time and nerves.

Sandrine, 54, two children:

Breastfeeding or formula, organic or inorganic – at the end of the day, you end up with a child eating cornflakes on a dirty floor or a teenager choosing fast food over your healthy meal that you spent hours preparing.

Maïté, 57, two children:

I wouldn’t waste so much time worrying about what my kids eat.

As long as they have a healthy choice, I’d relax and let them build up their own taste.

I wouldn’t cater to everyone’s wishes either, but serve one dish for everyone, instead of making two or three different ones.

The apprenticeship

Johanna, 44, one child:

I wouldn’t worry if my child was behind the others in learning, sport or social life.

Everything happens at the right time for each child.

Raphaëlle, 55, three children:

I’d like to teach the children the basics, how to cook, clean, wash clothes, save money, and so on.

I’d also like to teach them how to deal with stress, worries and disappointments.

I always thought it would come, but it hasn’t.

They need guidance, even as adults.

At home

Danielle, 47, two children:

I spend a lot of my free time tidying up so that my house is always perfect.

If I could go back in time, I’d try on average to keep my house clean and spend more time playing with the kids.

The children won’t remember your brilliant cooking, but the quality time spent with you.

Gaëlle, 49, three children:

It’s normal for children to be bored.

Sabine, 51, two children:

I’d be less serious and more fun.

I’d say YES more often.

I’d listen more.

I’d enjoy everything more – from twisted diapers to cuddles before bed.

Because it doesn’t last forever.

Anne-Marie, 53, three children:

My husband and I were too strict about our children sleeping in bed with us when they wanted to cuddle or were scared.

We insisted they stay in their rooms and in their beds.

Now, I’d let them sleep and snuggle with us as much as possible.

I’d give anything to be able to bring back those cuddles.