A California girl found a way to avoid an arranged marriage by escaping from home and this happened 12 years ago. Unfortunately, this is one of many stories about arranged marriages.
Most people think that these arranged marriages are actually forced, and in many cases this is true.
So many girls are forced to marry someone they don’t even know. What’s even more devastating is that this happens everywhere and every day.
Many people think that this is a common practice only in some undeveloped countries with strict religious beliefs, but this happens more often than you think.
A California Girl Found A Way To Avoid An Arranged Marriage
Jessie Marie Bender is the name of a girl who escaped from home in order to avoid getting married.
Jessie was only 13 years old when all this happened and she Lived in Hesperia, California. She was missing for eight days until police found her. Some people believed that she was kidnapped, but she just wanted to get away.
Her stepfather was a Pakistani, and according to some sources, he arranged a marriage for Jessie. He planned to go to Pakistan with the family, and he would leave Jessie there. Jessie wasn’t 100% sure what would happen, but she knew what was going on.
After they found her, child protective services got involved, and Jessie and her three siblings were placed in protective custody. Her uncle helped her to run away and he found her a motel to stay there.
Jessie was a child and she knew that it was risky to run away. She was scared and she didn’t know what would happen next.
But, Jessie also knew that she had to save herself. She had to do something that would help her avoid the trip to Pakistan and forced marriage.
The whole nation was alert when Jessie went missing. Her mother told the authorities that Jessie met someone on Facebook and it’s possible that she’s been kidnapped by that person.
People wanted to find Jessie as soon as possible to save her from internet predators, but now they think that the family gave misleading information on purpose.
Parents should protect their kids, and it’s very difficult to hear that this happened. But, Jessie got away and she saved herself. Her uncle also helped her, and she survived.
She avoided forced marriage and many other traumas that come with it. Unfortunately, many girls experience much worse things when it comes to arranged marriage.
Parents Who Don’t Deserve Children
Jessie’s story is quite devastating, but at least she saved herself. It’s sad that her family did this to her, but at least nothing else happened.
Many people still believe in an arranged marriage. Some people do it because of tradition or religion, but many people do it for the money. The idea of an arranged marriage can be twisted and it’s important to accept the cultural differences.
When people want an arranged marriage, and they ask their family to help, that’s something else. It’s their right to follow their beliefs and tradition.
Unfortunately, many people think that a forced marriage is also an arranged marriage. Making arrangements without someone’s permission or wish is awful.
So, before we judge every single person who has something to do with arranged marriages, we have to learn about these differences.
There are many girls like Jessie who don’t want an arranged marriage. Unfortunately, their parents or family want to force them to marry someone. The worst part is that these girls are often very young.
If you’re a normal human being, you’re probably wondering what’s wrong with these people. How can a parent do something like this?
Well, people can be despicable and evil. So many people are parents but they don’t care about their kids. They care about their reputation, money, or tradition. They don’t care that their child is unhappy. They want to accomplish their goal.
A few months ago, a man and his son were arrested because they’d abducted a woman and tried to force her into an arranged marriage. But, let’s start from the beginning.
The man’s name is Khaled Abughanem, and his son’s name is Waleed Abughanem, 32. They’re from Lackawanna, New York, and the woman they’ve tried to force into an arranged marriage is their daughter and sister.
Her mother was also a part of everything. This poor girl had to drop out of school. She was a student at the University of Buffalo.
She had a fiancee, and she just wanted to live her life. She wanted to educate herself, and she wanted more after high school. But, her family had other plans.
She is a victim of domestic violence because her father assaulted her and threatened her multiple times. They’ve blackmailed her and they’ve tried to manipulate her.
Her mom told her that she should obey her father. They had a plan to travel with her until they found a suitable partner.
They told her that if she refused, they would kill her or lock her in the house for the rest of her life. She was even forced to take a virginity test. In the end, the plan was to go to Yemen. They wanted to give her to a man who would pay $500,000.
She tried to refuse it, but her father physically abused her, and she had to go. She had to go to Yemen.
Luckily, her fiancée called the police a few times and told them what happened. Since she was already in Yemen, the police couldn’t do much. After 18 months, they returned to the USA, where the police waited for the woman. They wanted to remove her from her brother and father.
Her brother and father were arrested, and the girl was safe. However, the authorities still believe that the girl is in danger.
They don’t know if her father has some friends or if someone will come to look for her since she spent a lot of time in Yemen.
She still has a lot of healing to do, and she still has to go through a lot of challenges. Many girls are never saved, and even though she went through hell, she found her freedom again. She was lucky enough to be saved.
This girl lost her family and she lost her faith in love. She is betrayed and she will always be vulnerable. I hope that she will find closure and happiness one day. Your family should protect you, and she had the opposite experience.
Marrying A Cousin And Becoming A Child Bride
Naila Amin is a woman from New York, but she was a child bride. She is from Pakistan, but she moved to New York when she was a child.
She lived a normal life, and she loved her family. She went to school, and she thought that everything will be great.
At the age of 8, she was engaged to her older cousin Tariq. She always thought of Tariq as her brother. He was 13 years older than Naila.
She wasn’t happy, but she tried to live her life. She had friends and she liked American boys. She never thought that she would have to marry Tariq one day.
Unfortunately, that day came fast. When Naila was 13, she traveled to Pakistan with her family. Tariq and Naila got married there, but she came back to New York with her parents.
She was just a child, and she was married. She found a boyfriend in America, and his name was Edy. When her family found out, she had to run away from home. She was cheating on Tariq and she embarrassed her family.
She came back, but the problem was still there. Naila fought with her parent, and they physically attacked her. She ran away again.
Her teacher noticed bruises, so she called Child Protective Services. They wanted to help, but they didn’t know what to do. She was their first child bride and she was a Muslim. They had no idea what to do with the problem of child marriage.
They didn’t know which foster family to choose for her, and which food to give her. She felt like a burden and she didn’t see a way out of her situation.
After a while, she ran away to her family’s house and she hid there. Her parents bought her a plane ticket and sent her to live in Pakistan.
After a few months in Pakistan, she had to go and live with her husband. She was 15 years old at the time. She thought that she would stay there until the age of 18.
She tried to convince her mother to help her and protect her, but her mom told her that she couldn’t do anything. Tariq wasn’t against the marriage, but since she wasn’t interested in him they were both unhappy. He was beating her and raping her.
She tried to escape a few times, but she failed. Her husband and her father would beat her in front of the whole family. Her mom would scream, but nobody cared.
Naila tried to escape again, but her uncle brought her back. She told him:
If anything happens to me, you call Child Protective Services and let them know that I was killed in the name of honor.
She knew that she was still a ward of New York State. Her husband accused her uncle of eloping with Naila, which made the uncle mad and he called Child Protective Services.
Her mother was arrested when she got back in the USA. Then the father sent Naila back to the USA and he told Tariq that she had to finish school.
Naila is very grateful because she knows that she wouldn’t survive. She knows that she wouldn’t be alive today.
Her dream is to create an organization or a safe house that will help all those kids and teenagers who have to face marriage. It’s very hard for people to understand these kids and their families, and they need help. They need to be saved.
She can’t forget what happened, but she is trying to create a good life for herself. She is trying to heal.
Arranged Marriage Is A Bigger Problem Than People Think
As you can see, there are different stories about arranged marriage, but there are many more we don’t know anything about. These poor girls who are being forced to marry someone they don’t want to. They don’t have a family that cares for them.
They don’t have a right to love someone else. They don’t have their freedom and they’re trapped.
Many women go through this problem, and we need to see them. We have to acknowledge this issue. We need more groups and organizations that will deal with this problem.
These girls and women need support and understanding. They need our attention. So many young girls are forced to marry.
These stories have a happy ending, but the trauma is permanent. These girls will never forget what happened.
Just imagine how many girls don’t get their happy endings. In some undeveloped countries, girls die because they were killed by their families. Girls die because they are too young for sexual intercourse.
This is something that happens in our country too, but we don’t know about it. We’re not aware of all these dangers around us. We can’t forget these women and their struggles. We can’t forget that someone is taking away their basic human rights.
Women Who Want Arranged Marriages
People are different, and there are some young people who want an arranged marriage. These people are raised differently, and they believe in this type of marriage.
Sometimes, people try to save them from that marriage, but they want it. They truly want to be in an arranged marriage. So, why is that?
Well, besides being raised differently and having different beliefs, people tend to give up finding love on their own.
Many people live modern lives, and they don’t care about these things, but one day they change their minds. There are even some groups and communities for arranging a marriage.
At some point, people lose their faith in love and they just want to find someone who will be there. They want a family and they want their life to start.
Even though arranged marriages have a bad reputation, we have to accept free will. We have to understand that some people really want this.
Besides, there are many romantic love stories connected to these marriages. You never know what can happen and you never know which person is your destiny.
Some women believe in an arranged marriage because they were raised like that. Their parents are in an arranged marriage, and their whole family is following this tradition. They want that for themselves, and we have to be okay with that.
Some people say that it’s dangerous, but every relationship can be dangerous. There are so many stories about people who changed after getting married. There are so many tragic situations caused by the modern way of dating and getting married. So, there is no need to judge.
Some women want an arranged marriage because they’re tired of dating. They want to settle down. Maybe they’re getting older and they want to have a baby before it’s too late.
The point is – many people want this and many people believe that it’s easier. Every person has the right to choose the best option. Even though there are still people who practice the old way of arranging a marriage, the modern era is a bit different.
People who decide to go for an arranged marriage don’t get married the first time they see each other. They date for a while, but their dates are different.
They know what they want. Their goal is to get married. They try to connect and they’re eager to get married as soon as possible. It’s like a blind date that should lead to marriage.
If you don’t like the guy, you don’t have to marry him. So, modern-day arranged marriage is a bit different than you think.
Thinking That It Would Work
As I’ve mentioned, there are men and women who choose arranged marriages for some reason even though they don’t have to.
Some people are raised in traditional families where arranged marriage is normal. When you’re a part of a traditional family, and you love them and they love you, an arranged marriage is something to think about.
Sometimes you’re willing to try it because you have a loving family and you want to see if you can make them happy.
Of course, this doesn’t sound healthy, but many people still do it. They want to try it. Usually, they try it because they know that if they don’t like the other person, they don’t have to get married.
A girl From Los Angeles shared her story about the possibility of an arranged marriage. Her family was very traditional, and they wanted her to at least think about arranged marriage.
A lot of her cousins were also following the tradition, and they seemed happy. So, she decided that she would give it a chance. Her parent chose a man for her and she went on a date with him. He was a decent man, well-educated and he had a good job.
Their date was fine, but there was no connection. After all, she agreed to meet him to please her parents.
He was more traditional, and she wanted to educate herself and create a good career. He wasn’t a good fit for her.
At the end of their date, he asked if they could get married in December. She was surprised, but she told him that she had school and she had to think about everything.
Eventually, she sent him an email explaining that she was not interested in marrying him. Her parents also understood. She believes that she would’ve been married if that guy was a better fit. She just wanted something else.
Also, she understands her parents and people who want to follow this tradition. It’s much easier when you know from the start everything is important.
It’s much easier when you know that the man you’re seeing has a stable life and your parents already approve of him. Many women and girls didn’t want to disappoint their parents.
So, if someone is trying to explore other options, don’t be so surprised. Arranged marriages can be happy and many people recommend it.
As long as it’s someone’s free will to choose an arranged marriage, we should be okay with that. Just because we don’t understand it, doesn’t mean it’s bad for them.
A California girl found a way to avoid an arranged marriage many years ago, but many other girls didn’t. The goal of my story was to remind you that these things aren’t just something you see in movies.
Awful things happen every day, and arranged marriages are still a problem. Many girls have escaped, but many of them haven’t. We have to see them and we have to be their voice.
I also wanted to point out that we have to be careful when judging this type of marriage because some people actually like it. Some women want it and we have to support them too.
The point is – we have to support and protect women. We have to respect their freedom and we have to save them when they need to be saved.
Every person has a path in life, and we can’t ignore anyone. Some people need our help and protection, and other people simply need our understanding.
Arranged marriage is a complex topic, and even when we know so many devastating stories, we can’t judge people who truly want it. We can’t jump to conclusions.
Besides arranged marriages, one of our biggest concerns should be unfit parents. So many people are raising kids and they shouldn’t be parents. They’re harming their kids in so many ways, and we have to be more careful and attentive.
Hi all, I am Sidney, an accountant, a hobbyist photographer, and a mother to two sweet girls who are my motivation. I love sharing the tips and tricks I gained all these years I’ve been a mother. I hope it will help you!