It’s important for your teens to learn that failures, as well as successes, are important for personal growth and development, because that’s how they’ll develop mature, stable personalities.
But you can make teenagers’ “crazy years” easier with good communication between parents and children.
Teenagers are in a transitional phase between childhood and adulthood.
And growing up isn’t easy.
The period of adolescence itself brings many doubts and temptations, peers become the most important role model, and the child who until then regarded parents as absolute authorities begins to escape from the cocoon.
You have to keep encouraging your children.
Challenge them and encourage them to trust their instincts.
Let them gain experience and teach them that failure is the basis of personal development.
You need a lot of patience, love and support, because only in this way can you help your teenager cope with all the problems that the “crazy years” bring.
If you’re wondering what you should talk to them about and what advice to give them before they come to conclusions on their own, the hard way, here are some recommendations from psychologists who have compiled a “list” of conversations, i.e. topics you should discuss with your children.
1. Teenagers need freedom of decision
The most important thing you can offer them is freedom to make certain decisions.
This doesn’t mean that you don’t control or guide them, but they need to understand that they learn from their experiences.
So let them choose according to their age and character, because that’s the only way they’ll learn to be independent.
Don’t let your child blame you, for example, for forcing him to enroll in a university that you thought was the best choice.
Parents should point out to their children all the pros and cons of a decision, but in the end, it must be their own.
2. Teens need to find themselves
It’s best to know who your child hangs out with, who his friends are and how they affect him.
Explain that each person is unique and that just because, for example, his friend is good at soccer doesn’t mean your child has to play the same sport.
Insist that they “find themselves”, that they understand what they like best and what makes them happy.
In short, let him do his best in this activity.
3. Let your teenager be the best version of himself
Teach him to be “the best version of himself”.
This means giving him self-confidence, encouraging him not to compare himself with others, not to value himself in relation to the qualities of others.
4. Teenagers need to learn empathy
Try to explain that people are bound to hurt him, but that he shouldn’t approach others with fear.
There will be disappointments and tears, but it’s important that he believes in himself and doesn’t give up on his goals.
For such an attitude, he needs the support of his family, so try to make the child understand that, whatever happens, you’ll always be there for him.
5. Teach your teenager to manage his emotions
Try to explain to him that it’s not healthy to cultivate bad emotions, anger, bitterness or rage.
Try to encourage him to always talk about his feelings.
He doesn’t have to confide in you, but it’s very important that he accepts and channels his emotions.
If he learns to forgive, it will help him lead a fuller, happier life later on.
6. Teach your teenager to have realistic expectations
Teach him to get rid of excessive expectations, to try to take a realistic view of his reality, his friends and his environment.
This can be one of the most valuable lessons for your child.
7. He doesn’t have to please everyone
Teach him that not everyone can love him.
Teenagers have a strong desire to fit in and be accepted.
You should appreciate such efforts, but it’s important to explain to the child that, because of this, he shouldn’t go in for extreme, problematic behavior or abandon his own desires.
Teach him in time to say “no” to anything that conflicts with his nature and character.
8. Guide him, but don’t live his life
A teenager should be guided, but you shouldn’t live his life for him.
Offer him the opportunity to take part in sports or other activities, even if he’s not overly talented.
But try not to give him too much free time or he’ll feel suffocated.
9. Guide your teenager towards a healthy lifestyle and good habits
This way, he’ll take care of his body and mind forever, and pass it on to his children.
Teach children to love their bodies, which is perhaps the most difficult part of parenthood.
Girls are particularly sensitive to physical appearance, so if your daughter has a few extra pounds, help her lose them in a healthy way.
Additional valuable tips for parents of teenagers
No matter how ridiculous or insignificant their problems seem to you, you need to know that they’re the biggest and most difficult for them.
So never make fun of them or scold them.
Listen very carefully, help them solve them and act as if they were the most important things in the world.
Parenthood involves a certain amount of frustration.
So don’t just give them comfort and a “carefree life”.
Try to understand your obligations and responsibilities, but show them that there are consequences for not respecting them.
Psychologists advise that it’s best to agree with the child on the punishment for bad deeds.
Encourage and challenge children, teaching them to trust their instincts and their hearts.
Encourage them to help others, to give away things they no longer need, to try to collect memories and beautiful moments, not material things.
All life experiences are precious, not just the moments when a child has been successful.
Failure is the basis of personal development and growth.
It’s important that children learn this before they grow up, because it’s how they develop a mature, stable personality.