Being a parent isn’t easy.
Although I can already hear the critics saying, “But you chose to have children”, that doesn’t mean it’s an easy role to take on.
On top of all the responsibilities we take on every day, our task is to ensure the harmonious growth and development of our children.
We have to help them integrate into society as smoothly as possible as they grow up.
Parents who raise successful children have habits that we can easily recognize and distinguish, but this also applies to those other parents.
Those bad, toxic parents.
To make sure you’re not one of them, read these tips and adjust your parenting style so your child can grow and develop the right way.
1. Hitting and punishing
Do I really need to explain this?
Hitting children is an inhumane way of inflicting pain on children and dealing with your frustrations.
Apart from the fact that it can leave lasting and serious scars on children, hitting children is child abuse and is punishable by law.
I don’t support punishment either, because it doesn’t achieve the desired objective, but only distances us, as parents, from the child.
A child who is punished will obey the rules just to avoid punishment, and will therefore learn nothing.
Instead, I advocate setting clear limits, open communication with the child and discipline without punishment.
A parent who uses blows and punishments as a method of education can seriously harm their child’s growth and development.
Most parents who use these bad methods do so because they don’t know any better, because that’s the way their parents taught them, or because that’s the way they themselves were brought up.
Our task is to give our children the best we know and can.
2. Screaming
Screaming is a form of psychological child abuse.
Sometimes it’s hard to keep a straight face, so I think we’ve all said something to our child in a raised voice at least once.
But shouting can also have lasting effects on children and their psychological development, so it should definitely be avoided.
What’s more, if we can’t explain something and say it calmly, but have to raise our voice, then we have a bigger problem ourselves than our children.
Providing our children with a safe and comfortable home is the least we can do for them.
Because it’s only when we stop yelling at children that we can begin to develop an open relationship with them based on communication, connection and mutual respect.
3. Leaving children in front of screens unsupervised
Today’s world is full of tools that make our work and daily lives easier.
Cell phones, tablets and computers are just some of these tools.
But to benefit from them, you need to know how to use them properly.
Children who are excessively exposed to screens can develop a whole range of health and psychological problems, from lack of concentration to poor social skills.
We ourselves grew up at a time when technology didn’t have such an impact on the world, but our children are growing up today and we’re preparing them for the future.
There’s no doubt that technology and the Internet have not only changed the way we work, but have also had a huge impact on the way we live.
In order to teach our children to use technology in the right way, we need to educate ourselves a little.
In fact, we need to be aware of the dangers of excessive screen viewing, especially for young children.
We need to know the dangers of Internet and social networking that our children will inevitably encounter.
We need to know how to establish an open relationship with our children based on trust and mutual respect, so that they can talk to us openly and without fear or shame about technology.
4. Excessive control
I’m talking about helicopter parents!
Being a parent is a wonderful experience.
But sometimes parents know how to exaggerate and become their child’s shadow.
For a child to develop smoothly, we need to give them enough freedom to explore the world around them independently.
Excessive control and constant restraint can have very bad consequences for a child’s development.
As parents, we need to make sure our children are safe.
But we must also allow them to fall, to try for themselves, even if we know they won’t succeed.
Instead of stopping children from trying to climb, let’s teach them how to climb properly, and be there to comfort them if they fall.
5. Forcing the child to listen without asking questions
Some parents believe that the solution to all problems lies in getting children to listen without asking too many questions.
They generally believe that children should respect their parents, and that they themselves don’t have to do anything to earn that respect.
But respect isn’t something we’re entitled to simply by being parents.
To get it, we have to earn it.
Children we force to listen without question become insecure people who won’t think constructively, but will accept anything as an excellent solution.
Our task is to teach children to think constructively and question everything they can.
In a world where we are constantly exposed to fake news and various manipulations, our children need to know how to use common sense.
We need to teach them to discern what makes sense and what is complete nonsense, and to do so using rational methods of thought.
If we bring them up in a way that doesn’t allow them to question our decisions, we’ll hardly succeed.
6. Ignoring emotional and social intelligence
It’s often the case that parents focus a lot of attention on a child’s academic success or graduation from college.
But we need to be aware that graduating from college is no guarantee of happiness and success in life.
Formal education is important, but we must not neglect other forms of learning.
We need to teach our children what emotional intelligence is and how to use it.
We need to guide them to recognize their feelings from an early age.
Let them talk openly about how they feel, whether they’re boys or girls.
We need to let them know that not all feelings are positive, and that it’s sometimes normal to feel sad or angry.
And we need to show them how to deal with these difficult feelings.
It’s also important that we teach them social skills.
Children spend most of their time in their first 7 years with their parents and learn by watching them.
They absorb everything you do, so if you swear, don’t yell at your child when he starts to do it.
Learning isn’t just about memorizing books, it’s about observing the world around us and thinking about everything we see, hear and experience.
We ourselves have learned this way, so our children will learn this way too.
The parents’ task is to set a good example for their children.