The information children receive from us and through our behavior as parents and educators, in my opinion, affects their overall development.
Raising children is one of the most difficult tasks every parent faces. At the same time, most of those who have fulfilled this role in life remain convinced that they are doing their best at any given time, but they are often not inclined to question whether they are wrong in certain behaviors that can leave children with “lifelong” after-effects.
So it’s important to draw attention to certain behaviors and actions we do that could have long-term consequences for children.
Developmental psychology has long proved that a child is always likely to receive information in the form of an embryo, of course in contact with the mother through physiological communication, empathic communication and behavioral communication.
All this indicates that the child can feel the fear that is transmitted to the fetus by biochemical processes, and that very often, in such conditions, the child makes movements in the abdomen in response to the mother’s reactions.
All this tells us how much the behavior of the parents influences the child, as well as the mutual relationship of the parents, who, despite their best efforts, cannot hide or disguise themselves, for it is simply a form of energy that the child feels with every breath.
In view of all the above, it’s important to mention the importance and influence of the way parents bring up their child, and the image they send out with their behavior and expectations of the child.
Children aged 3 to 5 use feelings as their only means of communicating with the world around them, so it’s important to know what we, as parents, are doing – i.e. not doing right – and that this has an impact on the child.
The educational aspects that threaten good development are:
1. Emotional coldness towards the child
This translates into repulsion, distance, ignorance, avoidance of physical contact, and on the other hand, excessive emotionality in overprotection, limitations, dependence, possessiveness, excessive physical contact and excessive care.
Lacking the contact, warmth and love that are the source of life, these children are often alone, isolated, exposed to peer violence and later to frequent mental illness.
2. Lack of motivation
Avoiding conversations with the child, the monotonous environment, preoccupation with work and “lack of time” for the child, as well as often excessive expectations and ambition can lead to internal conflicts in the child, where it often happens that the child blames himself for not seeing and cannot understand another reason for this behavior.
- “I’m not good enough”
- “I’ll never be like my brother”.
- “I shouldn’t have been born in the first place”.
These are common thoughts that run through a child’s head!
3. Shame, ignorance, threats
While some parents make mistakes with a gentle approach, indulgence and praise, some go to the other extreme, so educational methods are based on shame, ignorance, threats.
None of these approaches is simply good, because they have neither measure nor moderation.
In the first case, the child will become arrogant, spoiled, with too many expectations of others. And in the second case, he’ll encourage his shadows – a child afraid of failure with destroyed self-confidence resulting from threats and an upbringing that violated their safety and trust in parents.
4. Lack of respect
This actually represents the non-acceptance and lack of respect for the child’s personality, right to choose and to make mistakes reflected in underestimation, depreciation, crippling independence, constant lecturing and negative comments.
The child is often insecure, unsupported, in constant fear of mistakes and possible consequences.
5. Orders
This is parenting behavior that involves maximum control, prohibitions, orders and demands, criticism, threats and punishments, restrictions of freedom that contribute to the child being closed, blocked, uncreative and unwilling to play and socialize.
So, there are effective tips for discipline and they are reflected in several important things:
- Trust that your child will abide by established rules, whatever his age or stage of development.
- Make sure that what you’re asking your child to do is understandable and achievable.
- Speak to your child as you would like him to speak to you.
- Don’t use derogatory names, shouting or belittling.
- Be strict and determined, not rigid and ambiguous.
- Allow negotiation and compromise, which will help the child develop the social skills of negotiation and adaptation.
For the proper development of children, it’s important that their basic needs are met, namely: the need for security, protection from danger, a caring attitude, a healthy and regular diet, sufficient sleep, physical activity, socialization with peers, as well as an opportunity to engage freely in discovery and research.