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14 Shocking differences in child rearing, 40 years ago and today

14 Shocking differences in child rearing, 40 years ago and today

Education styles have changed a lot over the years. Of course, there are some areas where we can see significant improvement.

For example, 40 years ago, it was often acceptable to spank your children or bring them up the hard way in order to make them more mature, responsible and independent adults.

While the intentions were good, the methods were not. Today, much healthier parenting styles have been developed.

Unfortunately, with all changes, there are positive and negative sides. And to be honest, I’m not sure that the evolution of parenting has really been a success.

We’re turning our children into social cripples, all to feed our own egos.

Today, we have children who are glued to their screens, who no longer know how to play together and who have major learning deficits. So which style of education is best?

I’ll let you choose.

1. Getting dirty

40 years ago:

Oh, you’ve got dirt everywhere. You probably had a good time. Get changed and put all your clothes in the wash.

Today:

Go outside and play, but don’t get dirty. Oh… And don’t run or roll around on the ground.

Aren’t we stealing our children’s childhood? How can we expect children to enjoy outdoor activities if we impose completely stupid rules on them?

2. Finishing your plate

40 years ago:

No, you can’t leave the table. Finish your plate first and clear it away after you’ve finished.

Today:

You don’t like what I’ve prepared for dinner? Okay, I’ll fix you something else. What do you want to eat?

On the one hand, I’m against the idea of forcing a child to finish his/her plate, because I think he/she is capable of telling whether he/she is still hungry or not. On the other hand, treating your children like royal offspring to whom everything is due is a big mistake in my eyes.

3. Eating sweets

40 years ago:

Got any spare change? Buy a lollipop…

Today:

There are already 6 packs of sweets in the basket. One more and you’re done!

There used to be limits. Children weren’t spoiled rotten. Today, we do literally everything we can to avoid triggering a whim in our child. Little by little, we’re becoming our children’s slaves.

4. Limiting fun

40 years ago:

It’s late, come home. You can’t stay out all night.

Today:

Put down those screens and go out and play. You’re pale as ghosts.

Clearly, that’s the biggest difference. Forty years ago, you had to force kids to come home. Now, it’s almost impossible to get them out of their rooms. They’re prisoners of technology.

5. Reacting to punishment

40 years ago:

Did your teacher punish you? What did you do wrong?

Today:

You’ve been punished?! Tomorrow, I’m going to see the principal… Nobody behaves like that with my child.

Nowadays, we have this crazy idea that our children are perfect beings, incapable of doing anything wrong. We see them as innocent angels who are unjustly punished. In reality, it’s mostly our ego that gets hurt.

6. Settling arguments

40 years ago:

Did you have a fight with Paul? Well, tomorrow you’ll go to his house to make peace.

Today:

Did Paul make fun of you? I’ll call his mother right away!

As in the previous point, today we tend to speak and act in our children’s place. We don’t give them any independence. What’s more, we no longer teach them how to solve their own problems.

7. Being polite to adults

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40 years ago:

When you see an adult, be polite and say “hello”.

Today:

Don’t talk to strangers!

To be honest, the modern world is a lot more dangerous than the society we grew up in. So, for once, I’m going to give the edge to modern education. I agree with the idea that you shouldn’t talk to strangers.

8. Taking care of yourself

40 years ago:

Take care of yourself!

Today:

Send me a message every half hour.

We don’t give children freedom and we don’t trust them. In fact, we project our fears and imagine the worst. Instead of teaching our children to defend themselves, we put unhealthy pressure on them.

9. Replace broken toys

40 years ago:

Did you break your favorite toy? Now you’ll learn to take better care of your stuff.

Today:

Did you break your favorite toy? Okay, tomorrow we’ll go buy another one.

What are we trying to accomplish by doing this? Creating adults incapable of taking responsibility for their actions? Or are we trying to fill a gap in our childhood? Clearly, buying again and again can’t replace the love or time you need to offer your children.

10. Being sick

40 years ago:

Remy has a bit of a cough and a runny nose, but I sent him to school anyway.

Today:

Remy has a bit of a cough and his nose is running, so he won’t be going to school this week.

Of course, this scenario is valid outside our current pandemic situation. Honestly, do you really think your child is going to suffer because he’s going to school with a slight cough?

No, as soon as he walks through the school gates, he’ll probably forget all about his fatigue.

11. Comparing yourself to others

40 years ago:

I don’t care what Loïc’s mom bought him. What interests me is your education and behavior.

Today:

If Loïc got this present for his birthday, I’ll give it to you too.

Comparisons between children are perfectly normal. But it’s up to us as parents to set healthy limits. We can’t give our children everything. And it’s not healthy to offer them everything.

12. Get an education

40 years ago:

If you don’t want to study, you’ll spend your life cleaning toilets.

Today:

If you learn your lesson, mom/dad will buy you whatever you want.

Before, it was clear that if a child studied, it was for himself, for his future. Now, we push them to learn so that we don’t have to pay for it all our lives. What if, instead of pushing a child who doesn’t want to learn to learn, we told him he had other options: education or work?

13. Repeat

40 years ago:

I won’t tell you twice!

Today:

Calm down and eat. Calm down. Eat your food. Can you calm down and eat. Can you hear me? Calm down and eat.

Why do we keep talking when the kids won’t listen? There used to be respect. Now, raising children is more a test of patience than anything else.

14. Blame

40 years ago:

It doesn’t matter who’s guilty. Clean up and tidy this room, all of you.

Today:

Run to your room and clean up the mess you’ve made.

“It’s not my fault” was never a valid excuse when I was growing up. When someone made a mess, everyone had to help clean it up. Nowadays, we tend to point fingers and automatically blame. But how do you think a child feels at that moment?