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People With Toxic Parents All Have These 3 Problems

People With Toxic Parents All Have These 3 Problems

Unfortunately, no matter what these people do to try and solve their problems, the effects of toxic parenting last a lifetime.

Indeed, when someone comes from a toxic family, it can change their perception of the world – and usually not for the better. If you grew up in a dysfunctional environment, you’ve certainly been through some tough times.

Deciding to stop talking to your parents altogether, or even learning to protect yourself with strong emotional boundaries, is one of the hardest things you can do.

But it’s an incredibly important part of building your life into something healthier and more positive.

If you’ve already taken this step, then congratulations. I’m sure it’s been particularly difficult.

But the hard work doesn’t end there. Your toxic family has caused damage that you can’t repair by simply cutting off communication and moving to another country.

You carry this burden on your shoulders, in the form of mental and emotional problems.

I’m not saying that everyone who grew up in such an environment suffers from exhausting mental or emotional problems. However, research has shown that people who have had a difficult childhood have mostly psychological consequences.

Indeed, children from dysfunctional families are more likely to suffer from mental health problems. These problems generally lead to the internalization or externalization of the conflicts they experienced as children.

So, if you grew up in a dysfunctional environment with a toxic family, you may have tried to repress a lot of anger or resentment, or even sadness.

This can lead to multiple mental and emotional problems, such as those listed below. Know that you’re not alone if any of these problems sound familiar:

1. Anxiety

It’s no surprise that anxiety is one of the most common mental problems. However, those who have grown up in a toxic environment experience anxiety disorder in a completely different way.

A study from Ben Gurion University in Israel found that a “significantly higher” percentage of adults with generalized anxiety disorder come from a dysfunctional family.

Maybe your parents forbade you to go to social events or hang out with friends. Or maybe you weren’t able to experience the things a child should, which contributed to your fears at a young age.

Susan Forward is the author of the book Toxic Parents, in which she writes:

Children who are not encouraged to investigate, to try, to risk failure, often feel helpless and inadequate. Excessively controlled by anxious parents whom they fear, these children often become anxious and timid.

2. Communication and interaction with others are difficult

Whether it’s physical, like a hug, or emotional, like a relationship – if you come from a toxic family, it’s almost impossible to let others get close to you.

And it’s not that you don’t want that kind of relationship, it’s that trusting someone scares you – a risk you’re not willing to take.

Children who grew up hiding from their friends, because they were afraid to show the world the extreme dysfunctions of their home, turn into adults incapable of forming healthy relationships.

And they’ve never learned to talk about their problems. In fact, even when they did mention it to their parents, ridicule probably followed. However, the reverse also happens.

This is due to the emotional imbalance that is created at a young age when they are surrounded by “unpredictable love”. If getting a parent’s approval was spontaneous at best, chances are you’re currently trying to find it in every friendship and relationship.

That’s why adults who grew up in dysfunctional families often have difficulty forming and maintaining relationships, have low self-esteem and low trust in others.

They fear losing control and favor their feelings and reality.

Most adult children of toxic parents grow up feeling very confused about the meaning of love and how they should feel. Their parents did a lot of ugly things to them in the name of love. They saw love as something chaotic, dramatic, confusing and painful.

Forcing them to abandon their dreams and desires. Obviously, that’s not what love is about. Love doesn’t break you, unbalance you or create a feeling of self-hatred…

True love creates a feeling of warmth, contentment, security, stability and inner peace.

3. Manipulation and narcissistic abuse make you wonder what’s real

If you grew up in a toxic environment, then the way you experienced reality is completely different from the way your parents saw it.

Have you ever been accused of something you never did and then punished for it, even when your parents were aware of your innocence?

Were family vacations colored by violent outbursts and harsh language?

Your family has distorted your reality and attitudes, and this leads you to disbelieve your own emotions and thoughts.

I’m 36 and my mother still blames me for things that never happened in my childhood.

In most dysfunctional families, children tend to learn to doubt their own intuition and emotional reactions.

That’s manipulation!

It’s when someone consciously tries to confuse another person in order to control them, and I can’t tell you how familiar I am with this tactic used in my past.

If you come from a toxic family, then I’m sure you can relate.

Whether your parents led you to doubt your partner’s love or question the existence of a missing cup of coffee that never existed, such behavior can lead to a state of doubt in your own feelings and thoughts, every day of your life.

It all sounds pretty sad, but there’s something you can do to take control of your life. Perfection doesn’t exist and your life will never be easy.

But things do get better with time. You just need to acknowledge all the ways you’ve been hurt and allow yourself to begin the healing process.