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How Can You Help Your Child Who Has Been Manipulated By His Father?

How Can You Help Your Child Who Has Been Manipulated By His Father?

Your ex-partner is a narcissist and you have a child with him.

This does not bode well!

In fact, if there’s one thing you can be sure of, it’s that your ex will try to manipulate your child.

He’ll try to turn him against you.

So you’re going to have to be brave.

Many mothers in the midst of a separation are confronted with a child who suddenly changes his behavior.

Suddenly, he doesn’t want to leave his father’s house and get into the car with his mother.

He screams and tells her he hates her.

His mother is frightened!

Once home, the child either goes straight to his room in silence and with an angry look on his face after the interaction, and no longer respects his mom.

Or he no longer wants to see her after the father has fought for the right to determine the place of residence in court.

Narcissistic dads are wonderful at convincing their children that their mother is the wrong person.

They position themselves as suffering victims and belittle the mother in front of the child.

How horrible!

Mothers are stunned by this behavior and wonder: how can he do this to our child?

How can someone with a loving heart say such a thing to an innocent little child?

How can someone who trumpets that he wants to spend more time with his child, because he loves and misses him infinitely, do something that is obviously not good for the child and his well-being?

Any mother would be hurt and frightened by such behavior.

Especially, when the mother is the only person who realizes this toxic behavior.

The court doesn’t see dad’s toxic attitude.

But why is everyone so blind?

So how can we make the people involved in the support system and the judge understand that the child has been manipulated?

The difficulty here is that in a conflict that takes place openly in front of third parties, you simply represent the other, non-neutral party.

And any stranger will think: “Yes, of course she’s saying that, she wants to steal the child from his father!

You know this isn’t true, but you don’t know how to make others understand.

After all, your toxic ex has bamboozled everyone.

That’s when it gets really hard to say goodbye once and for all to the belief that your ex will always get his way!

But it’s a very basic point that you MUST address mentally if you don’t want to play into your ex’s hands.

Many moms go further and get lost in their own thoughts about what they can do to win over the people involved.

In other words, they themselves seek to manipulate the authorities in their favor.

But this is not the way to go.

Your narcissistic ex is right above you: he’s in a different league.

Besides, he’s a professional manipulator.

A narcissist is always a step ahead

You end up aligning yourself with him, and your judge has trouble discerning who is the best parent for the child.

Especially when such amateur attempts at manipulation are undertaken with an attitude such that a blind person can sense from 100 m away that it’s not genuine.

You won’t win anything if you’re not honest and if you lie, even if it’s for the good of your child.

On the contrary, you could get the opposite result.

Not only do you lose your cool because you sound inauthentic and your statements get tangled up, but you also jeopardize your own integrity as a non-toxic parent.

Of course, you may think all guns are fair game when it comes to your child’s well-being.

But they aren’t!

Nothing in this world justifies the loss of your integrity.

So you can put that thought aside with relief.

Manipulation isn’t your thing anyway.

The problem is that you’re too interested in what other people think of you

Don’t you notice how much you align yourself with what others think of you?

For that matter, what do others think of you?

Whether it’s the judge, the adjudicator, the opposing lawyer, the former neighbor, mutual friends, the mediator or your child..

You worry too much about what’s going on around you.

Isn’t that what’s stressing you out?

What does your manipulated child think of you when he keeps hearing that you’re not a good mother?

Does he think you no longer love him, or that you’re deliberately not granting him his every wish?

You know very well that you could speak in angelic tongues, but your child won’t believe you because you’re not 100% convinced yourself that you’re a good mother.

Simply because others are constantly telling you what you’re doing wrong!

You also hear the words of your own mother, who didn’t give you much self-esteem.

So it’s kind of true.

Your inner self roars with indignation because it knows the truth.

And the truth is that you are an absolutely fantastic mother: the most perfect mother, exactly for your child!

Every time you doubt yourself, you’re no longer in tune with your inner wisdom, which lies deep within you and is free and innocent of all the bad beliefs you’ve picked up over the course of your life!

The only chance you have of reaching out to your manipulated child is to illustrate your values in alignment with yourself.

It also shows why you currently have no clarity other than the gibberish in your head when you try to explain something to your manipulated child.

This means you need to work on yourself first, so you don’t get confused by your child’s half-hearted statements.

Your child feels your posture like a seismograph.

If it corresponds to your inner self, you radiate sovereignty and integrity.

These are the guidelines that children and young people use as orientation and aspire to.

Your ex, if he has a narcissistic personality disorder, has a personality disorder in the truest sense of the word.

If, on top of that, you react insecurely to everything your narcissistic ex says, your child will lose his or her orientation.

So don’t let your ex push your buttons.

You’ll get angry at the slightest word.

Which will drive you away from your child for good!

Because even narcissistic manipulation, however successful it may be at first, doesn’t work in the long term.

It’s just an artificial house of cards that will crumble as your child grows up.